An actual movie review, of Splice

I remember when I was a kid; science was fun, exciting, fascinating, and remarkable.  It was a goal the smart kids could have if they dotted their i's crossed their t's and didn't get anything below a B.  Science was the wave of the future that the gifted and talented could aspire to.  Not anymore.  Now, at least according to Vincenzo Natali, scientists are narcissitic cavaliers who, while espousing ethics, are one frustration from threatening human extinction.

The characters are in the neighborhood of the cousins of your in-laws that even they don't want around.  The girl scientist (Sarah Polley) appears to be having a biological clock meltdown, cause she may not want kids but she definitely wants more than a pet.  The guy scientist (Adrien Brody) comes across as whipped as a young republican at an S/M club.  The supporting cast, what there is of it, serve to collectively play Sisyphus, but the stone of this feelm is the critter (Delphine Chaneac and others).  Up it goes, and it back down it comes, just waiting to actually do something.  As many options as the writers had with this one, they apparently couldn't agree on any of them and just let the feelm dangle in the wind until the ending so predicatble even M Night would be snoozing.

The message that science is bad and scientists are evil regardless of intentions actually had the theatre I watched this in smelling like that bacon package at the back of the fridge you defrosted and forget and allowed to ripen for a few weeks.  The entire small crowd seemed to share my feelings (and olfactoric nuisance) as everyone sprang for the exit when the screen faded out and it wasn't just a hope it was over, it just was.

If you simply have to see Sci-Fi, do yourself a favor and wait under this one inevitably appears on SyFy, where that group will laud it.  Until then, splice this one out of your 'to see' list.


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Saw Sarah Polley in "No Such Thing"

Rajah's picture

She was so cute she made me wanna ...... well ya know.

The trailer to "Splice" was too creepy. Looked like that baldheaded creature had a tail.Reminded me a bit of the movie "Species" with Ben Kingsley.

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