Am I the only one who hates Facebook?

I joined a couple months ago just to see what all the fuss was about.

The very first person to try to befriend me was my 10th grade boyfriend.  It was like the day after I joined, too, which I guess means he was searching my name.  Creepy.

I'm not the type of person who has an extensive social network.  I have a few close friends (and almost none of those friends have Facebook accounts).  So basically my Facebook "friends" were people from the past that I don't speak to anymore -- old professors, former students, acquaintances, the girl who sat next to me in 12th grade English because our last name starts with same letter, etc.  Do I really want all those people to know everything about me and see pictures of me?  Well, no, not really.  Do I really want to know initimate details about their lives, what their favorite movies or TV shows are, what their favorite color is, etc.?  No, not really.  To try and stay up-to-date with the lives of assorted people from my past seems pointless and, well, a waste of time.  (I left you in the past for a reason, dammit!)

So I permanently deleted my account after a few weeks.

I know I'm destined to be a crabby old hermit-woman, but I just don't get the whole online social networking thing.

Is it just me?




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It's the main way my

jazzdrive3's picture

It's the main way my friends, groups and church I'm involved with coordinate stuff, and it makes it very easy to do so. So I don't hate it intrinsically. (I recently went to a friend's wedding where the entire invitation process, RSVP and all, was done on Facebook. Talk about saving money.)

Of course, I don't ever update my status, never upload pics, and hardly read other people's crap. I get a few emails a week that let me know what I need to pay attention to.

The only reason I'm actually on the site is to confirm friends and play games, as there are some decent games within the platform.

No, you are not.

michael3b's picture

These faux realities have gots to gaux.

I did the Myspace thing for a while...

TMundo's picture

...then after the place got spammed I didn't make the jump to facebook, but basically I got some of the same deal.  People I hadn't heard from in 15 years were like, "hey, do I know you?"  Which was weird because I used my internet name and not my real name, but I know how they got me.  None the less, worlds began colliding.  Internet TMundo collided with Hometown TMundo and Haven't Seen You in 15 Years TMundo. Also joined by What Have You Been Doing Since Highschool TMundo,  and even a little bit of at Work TMundo.  It was all messed up, I kept changing the site to appease different groups.  You know how you wear different masks for different groups of people?  Well they all converged on one location.

I didn't bother to make a facebook profile.


TCP's picture

I know exactly what you mean by "wearing differing masks for different people."  That was the problem.  The whole thing made me feel false because I realized I DO wear different masks -- one mask for the professors, one mask for the former students, one mask for the high school acquaintances, one mask for the girlfriend's co-workers, etc, etc.  All of a sudden there I was, supposed to wear one mask for one group, and it kind of freaked me out.  Then I was all questioning myself -- i.e. 'Why can't I just be myself?', 'Why do I have to wear a mask at all?'

So I abruptly deleted the account.  It was too overwhelming.  I don't know how other people do it.


I'm not sure, but I think I came to the conclusion...

TMundo's picture

...(and I'm not altogether sure that I followed through completely on it, no, I didn't) that I should just be myself and forget what people think of me.  Take it or leave it.  Initially I put the site up as a joke, one night I was bored, and I was like, hey, maybe I'll make a funny myspace page, why not?  So I made one and showed it to my brother and he laughed, and then I forgot about it for two weeks, and when I came back I had two messages from people I hadn't spoken to in about 14.  One was my next door neighbor from a town I grew up in, the other was a classmate from the same town.


I was stunned.

How did these people find me?  What? Why now?  It wasn't awful, I kinda liked getting in touch with those people form way back.  And I didneed to talk to the neighbor, we had lots to talk about.  It was also kinda cool to send stuff to people and see them post it, knowing they approved of your funny, whatever it was you sent them.  But that is only so much.   It isn't my life, it's a page that displays certain aspects of it, true or false, and it can be difficult to find something that represents you, because without people actually seeing you in person, well, a web page can only be so much, and maybe that's all it should be, I mean you only share what you want to, you don't share everything.  A public communicative display of yourself.  I heard one guy say in his 'about me' blurb, that if you think that you could know him, or figure him out, just by reading a paragraph then you were just kidding yourself, (something to that effect) I'm sure I could make the hop to facebook, but I just haven't bothered to be bothered.

What's Facebook?

nickumoh's picture

Kinda sounds like the top book in the stack of books that you are sleeping on in the library when pulling an all nighter.

I have a tech job so naturally I despise everything technical. And to further lash out my contempt for all things technical, I decided (a long time ago) to stay off the grid when I'm away from work. No cable, internet, video games or pretty much anything outside of text messages when away from work. I don't even check my gmail account anymore.

Meeting people for meetings sake can get dangerous. Not to mention it makes you look desperate (10th grade boyfriend, that is very creepy; unless you are in the 11th grade-but still kinda weird). You might want to look for a club or organization that shares your (healthy) interest. Meeting people outside of that (like bars or networking sites) will not work out eventually unless you are that desperate for company. These social networks are just bars without the booze but potentially just as annoying as that drunk crazy chick or that guy that turns out to be an arrogant prick.

I joined Portland fit this year. So far I've meet soo many nice people. They train for anything from the Hood-To-Coast race, to half marathons, to full marathons. Best decision I've ever made. Ran my first two 5K's ever (Shamrock Run, Race for the Roses) and might run a half marathon when its all said & done. Lost like 30 pounds in the process.

...what...what were talking about again?


TCP's picture

...I am not in the 11th grade.  I am 31, so yes it was pretty creepy.

Club or organization that shares my interest?  Something tells me you are not a former Crankylander.  Almost no one shares my interests.  What kind of club would that even be -- Ego Loss 101?  No, I'm not a social networking type, and probably destined to be a loner.

I'm also not "desperate for company."  I have a longtime girlfriend, and other than that I'm pretty happy being by myself most of the time.

Are you seriously asking what Facebook is?  You're living under a rock, right?

If Portland is considered a rock...

nickumoh's picture

I cool with that. You have to live here to understand. So much to do outdoors.  Mountain biking, camping (done once) and snowboarding to name a few. Portland has more parks per capita than any other US city. I moved here from the east cosast (Philly) three years ago, and this area has changed me completely. Been back east only once, but have been to the mid west (where I grew up) twice. I hate the mid west.

Oh yeah, you have to develop at least some kind of healthy interest. You gotta meet them half way. Back east, you could easlily make friends just by hating everybody else. Lord knows all the friends I made were from mutual cynicism and a staunch belief that society lacked any redeming qualities.

I've been in Crankyland for 4 years now. But I don't do the message board thing much. I consider my self a Caption Contest specialist.

If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone.      -Favorite Demotivator


...what...what were talking about again?

I think the only reason I joined Myspace

Rajah's picture

Was so I could look at Mia's pictures

I really haven't done anything with my site except put up a few pictures

Some people talked me into joining Facebook but I haven't really done anything with it and I nolonger go back to either Myspace or Facebook

Guess I'm too old for that kind of stuff

Portland sounds pretty cool.

TCP's picture

I would hate the Midwest, too -- I would never move there, for any reason.  I've always thought of myself as more of an Eastern girl, but I've never really travelled West.  (Although I have a feeling I would *love* San Francisco.)

Oh, I *have to* develop a healthy interest?  So that people will want to be my friend?  Haha!  No, that's not really my style.  I do what I love, and if anything (like a friendship) develops organically from that, then great.  Like I said, I'm really not desperate for friendship or companionship -- I just joined Facebook to see what all the fuss was about.  I know some people like to have an extensive social network with tons of acquaintances and a busy schedule filled with things to do and people to see, but I'm not really like that.  I tend to feel very overwhelmed by such things.  I'm fine with my quiet life and my few close friends. 

As loser-ish as it sounds, this is actually my 10th year in Crankyland (!).  'Course, I haven't been here consistently that long.  Over the years, I've tended to post when I have a lot of free time (like a boring job -- or unemployed like right now).


Whats wrong with developing a healthy interest?

nickumoh's picture

There is so much out there that you haven't tried that you will most certainly fall in love with.

Take me for instance. I'm a big guy and tried snowboarding for the first time last year. Before I knew it I bought a season pass. Its one of the best decisions I made this year, even though I dislocated my shoulder two weeks ago so bad that it will require surgery to repair. I've gained a ton of friends from this new experience and next year will be even better.

Keep in mind I said HEALTHY INTEREST!!! Don't become a meth addict because I said its ok to try new things.

I too am not a fan of the whole extensive social networking blah blah blah stuff. I don't like to network for networkings sake. I'm incredibly outgoing most of the time but can become introverted around people that don't (or are not willing to) share my interests. Luckily I have a long list of hobbies and an open to new things.

...what...what were talking about again?

Oh, nothing's wrong with it.

TCP's picture

It was just the way you worded it, I guess -- that I should develop a healthy interest to gain friends.

I have quite a few healthy (albeit dorky) interests -- religion & spirituality, philosophy, literature, art, cooking, etc., etc.  And there are many things I want to try.  (And as other Crankylanders know, I've tried many *unhealthy* things over the years as well.)

Ha -- we sound like we are probably cosmic opposites.  You seem like an outgoing, extroverted, externally-motivated person interested in sports and other activities.  I am a quiet, introverted, internally-motivated person who is completely content sitting under a tree and reading a book.  No one is better or worse, just different.  But I am definitely yin to your yang.





My problem is

nickumoh's picture

I'm too outgoing and way to spread out (multidimensional). My friends can't keep up. I have:

Snowboarding friends

Sportsbar friends

Running friends

Jazz Club friends

Underground hip-hop friends

Contemperory Dance friends

And not one of them are into half the stuff I like. Can't get worlds to collide. Worse yet, since I moved to Portland no one is into my true love, movies. Thats by far the worse part, not being able to have a serious talk about independent films with friends.

...what...what were talking about again?

Sounds like if you do what you love...

TMundo's picture

...assuming it's not detrimental to yourself, than I'd say that'd be a helthy interest.

I make my own vodka

nickumoh's picture

Healthy interest?

I certainly think so!

...what...what were talking about again?

Oh yeah, I know what facebook is

nickumoh's picture

I was just being sarcastic.

Many of those sites weird me out. People constantly trying to be who they are not. I personally am such a terrible liar that if I started one of those, it would make me look less appealing than I truly am. I also prefer meeting people the old fashioned way; at a  club or airport public restroom.

No offense to anyone, but I think the real world (not that reality show) is more than enough for me. I get more of a rush of anxiety and fulfilment from a morning run or the Vista Express on Mt Hood Meadows than I can get from a (non-porn) website.

I say leave your glowing flat screens and get out there. And stay out there.

...what...what were talking about again?

Yeah, I completely agree.

TCP's picture

I already spend way too much time staring at the "glowing flat screen", so anything that would increase my time online (i.e. Facebook) would be a bad idea.


Great to see you here.

Coaster's picture

TCP wrote:

"...I am not in the 11th grade.  I am 31..."

I get your point.  In Oklahoma, that would make you at least a 12th grader.

Welcome back.  How's Di?


TCP's picture

D's pretty good!  She's back in Florida now (was living in Maryland for a little while).  She's been living with her boyfriend for a few years and that's going well.  He's a really great guy, unlike a lot of the losers she dated in the past.  I approve of him. :-)

I should have her stop by and say hello.

Your 10th grade ex-boyfriend

Bulworth's picture

Your 10th grade ex-boyfriend probably found you thanks to a feature called People You May Know, which uses your circle of friends and personal info to generate frighteningly accurate frighteningly accurate, I'm afraid Facebook remembers more about my life than I do.

about that

Critico's picture

Its probably accurate at the beginning, but after you have many friends, 99% of the people who come up are just friends of friends that you don't know at all.

When I was 14, I dated

Bulworth's picture

When I was 14, I dated this girl who made out with me in a hidden corner at several junior high school dances...and then I promptly began ignoring her in the hopes that she'd dump me, which, thankfully, she did. Even though I had no idea what happened to her and we seemed to no longer have any mutual friends, there Facebook is, 12 years later, telling me I may know the first girl I really made out with.

Facebook is creepy, but I can't let it go.

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