Drive, he said, angry that the movie was in 3D

John Milton? In hell? Go figure.

Nick's daughter bit off some guy's dick. Now some guy is dickless. Just for spite, and to manufacture a plotline, some dickless guy couldn't resist absconding with Nick's daughter's daughter. Nick Cage, playing himself, goes in pursuit and drags Amber Heard, a sweet-faced, innocent-looking little cutie, out of the diner and along for the muscle-car road trip in this 3D-for-disaster (the 3D, not the movie). Amber kicks some ass, some people dance around some fire, and everyone associated with some baby-stealers abandons some hope.

Patrick Lussier out-Tarantinos Tarantino to my great joy and raincoat satisfaction. Blood flows. Gore splatters. Shit blows up. Stuff flies around. Naked breasts bounce.

Eye candy and breasts are briefly provided by Charlotte Ross, she of the NYPD bare ass (yeah, her, not Sipowiz). This is one woman who actually looks not too shabby with a new face, compared to more than a few others. It's obvious she also worked hard to get her body in shape for this thing. She succeeded.

Before I forget, no babies were actually harmed during the production of this gore-fest.

I know, I left out a few things, but if I revealed it all no one would want to see it.


Unfortunately, we don't get to see Amber's tits. Maybe next time.

[ rant ]
All of the trailers preceding this thing were for 3D movies. Personally, not having watched a 3D since the dark ages, I wasn't impressed. Perhaps I should have been stoned. Why the studios insist on 3D-ing everything is beyond me. Had this thing been feelmed in 2D, I'd have been more impressed with it. As it is, though, it's not a bad movie. It just needs to be released in 2D to get into my library.
[ /rant ]

1 Comment

Did you like this post? Vote Up or Down.

I remeber the first time I saw 3D was in Disneyworld

TMundo's picture

you know, that old film with the kids blowing the dandilion seeds, and then reaching for the carosel rings.  Then there was the feature that followed it, the second time I went to see it, the was this Michael Jackson 3D film called Captain Eno or Emo, I can't remember, it was alright though.

I'm guessing that 3D wasn't used as much as it could have been. so now they're catching up on lost monies.

They even have 3D TV's, but unless all chanells start broadcasting in 3D, all you have are the DVDs.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.