Pussycat. Kill. Kill.
*** Definite SPOILER ALERT *** but does anyone really care?
When first we meet him, D-wayne Johnson has done a dime standing on his head while pumping steroids directly into his trapezius and doing part-time work taking on all comers. This has earned him enough cash to buy a pristine vintage automobile parked in a junkyard in Bakersfield, Cee-Ay. Not content to use some of his jailhouse stash to call a cab following his release, D-Wayne elicits sympathy from the viewing audience by sprinting all the way to the junkyard, where he presses pedal to the metal in his haste to begin the body count.
D-wayne's reputation no doubt precedes him, since once arriving at the Pee Eye's office, he terrifies the permanent Pee Eye office fixture known at the Pee Eye bouncer. Oh, I forgot to mention that D-wayne has paid the Pee Eye's expenses from his jailhouse stash to track down a bunch of victims.
Victim#1 is hastily dispatched with a .50-cal snub-nose in full view of 461 office dweebs and a security cam. Unfortunately for the BK Pee Dee, they are unable to put two and two plus a full frontal of the shooter together in time to prevent the dispatch of Victim#33. Oh, I forgot to mention that an effeminate British-accented hit-person with a comely assistant has been hired to dispatch D-wayne, pretty much to no avail. Thus his/her fee of one dinar is recognized as mostly ludicrous and of nothing in particular, but we do get a lot of images of guns and bullets and stuff being racked—including the girlfriend's.
In a desperate attempt to appeal to the fundamentalist Christian movie viewer and the Parents Television Council in the event the movie is a direct-to-DVD release, Victim#79 and the entire foaming-at-the-mouth revival tent occupants are left to their own devices after a tearjerking encounter with Victim#88's family. Oh, I forgot to mention that D-wayne is finally hunted by the entire BK Pee Dee after someone comes to following a coma-induced donut repast during the filming of this movie and recognizes D-wayne as the driver for a ten-year-old bank robbery.
The effeminate British-accented hit-person with a comely assistant who he has married in the interim during which time they shoot guns in the desert, finally, after a couple of car chases where the vintage American automobile trounces the fancy European model on the freeway numerous times, catches up with D-wayne in the revival tent. Oh, I forgot to mention that HillBilly Bob Thornton—looking like he just crawled out of, out of, somewhere or other—shoots D-wayne in the head, but the bullet merely bounces off of his steel plate. (D-wayne's steel plate, not HillBilly Bob's steel plate.) Did I mention that D-wayne gets a steel plate implanted in his head?