How to tell when you aren't close to the target audience

Exhibit A  -  Rolling Stone magazine.  100 greatest guitarists of all time.  Joe Satriani ISN'T EVEN ON THE LIST.  Plus, James Hetfield IS on it.  Pa fucking thetic.  I won't get into the rest of the omissions and worthlessness, but that's flat out sad.

Exhibit B  -  Jennifer Aniston is voted sexiest woman.  Really?  Aside from pointing out that Rajah is on the group that voted for her and a number of the others, Jennifer Aniston?  I'm looking at cardboard packing boxes sexier than her.  So is that corn stalk on the TV movie the redhead is watching.  Unreal.

Exhibit C  -  Avatar is the highest grossing movie ever.  This weakly written (and I'm being generous) American Indian saga on another world relies on two things; CGI, and skantily clad CGI chicks.  It's no wonder then why Girls Gone Wild was popular.  The highest grossing Star Wars was the abomination that was number 4?  (yeah yeah renumber them all the fuck you want, it's number 4)

Exhibit D  -  TV.  It's impossible to turn on the TV, look at the guide, and not see a flood of reailty crap.  It's everywhere, on every channel, and it's ludicris.  From Jersey Shore, to Tiaras and Toddlers, to Ghost Hunters, to Survivor, they're all so horrendously fake and stage it's nauseating, yet channel after channel, time slot after time slot has more and more of them.  Hell my Monty Python DVD set is from A&E, and that channel hasn't broadcast a solitary thing that could be called 'art' in a decade.  Apparently it's entertainment for someone though.  Just not me.

That's all I can take for now.  But it points out unequivically that I am NOT the target audience.


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Well then, besides me, who watches this shit

RidingFool's picture

that it's so popular? Although, unemployment is high, so I suppose someone is, or 'they' wouldn't be showing it. It is cheaper to produce, something like 40 to 60 percent cheaper, if not more. How much money do you have to pay to get someone to show up for Mantracker with his horse trailer for every episode? I'm thinking not so much. You don't even have to clean up the horseshit behind it because it's filimed in isolation.

Jennifer Anniston is getting a bit long in the tooth, but even when she was a tad on the young side I couldn't figure out her attraction, unless it was to be suckling at the now probably-sagging teat.

I'm shocked that you appear to be so familiar with Diapers for toddlers, or tiaras or whatever.

Girls Gone Wild is out of the running? When did this happen? Oh, wait, I have all the dvds, so I never watched it on cable.

Come on, admit that you watch Black Gold. Did you see the episode where the aging Tank got the shit kicked out of him in a bar fight? Now that was pure comedy gold.

I have a hard-on for Antiques Roadshow.

Hoarders excite me to no end.

Up here the weather channel has forced all of its females to wear skirts. That gets 'em tuning in.

 

 

The unemployed are a target audience?

gamerarocks's picture

Well I suppose if I lived in Seattle and had my welfare paying for a lakefront house I could afford to buy from the advertisers too, but that's not what I personally think of when I think of unemployed.

I get the cheap angle, from the networks point of view they've got to love this trend.

Aniston was never attactive to me, at any stage.  Somehow someway she managed to convince people otherwise, not me.

I can't speak for the Girls Gone Wild thing, just that the snippets on the infomercials of drunk 'everygirl' lifting up her shirt would be akin to listening to the same R.E.M. song, even if you did like mediocrity once, at what point does it simply become mundane?

I have seen Toddlers and Tiaras once, as I've seen Jersey Shore.  The bedroom TV doesn't have the guide, so I channel surf.  One time I stopped to actually see what it was since I'd seen a story here and there about it.  Taking away the Jon Benet factor of just eeewww, the people in the show, kids and adults, are the kind whom I wouldn't socialize with on any level at any point for any reason.  Wrong barely begins to encapsulize that.  Just watching what I did made me feel creepy.  Jersey Shore is/was a train wreck I've seen a couple times for probably a total of 5 minutes.  Orange morons yelling screaming and drinking, wow what fun.  The last time I stopped long enough to see 30 seconds two of the heifers were staggering into an Italian street cafe assuring the waiter they weren't prostitutes and wanted coffee.  If the first thing you feel you need to say when addressing someone is 'I'm not a whore' what does that say about you, or those who find you interesting?

Having never seen Black Gold, is it safe to assume it's about wildcatters and their wacky adventures?  Or could it be about bean pickers in Colombia?

Never got into antiques roadshow, the nearest to that I suppose would be that one SyFy show that came close to being entertaining, Hollywood Treasures.  The stuff was cool even if the personalities weren't.  I did watch Mythbusters for a while, and While you were out.  The japanese Iron Chef was fun with the Chenny Downs factor for a bit.

The Weather Channel desperately needs to hire someone to do some wardrobe design, cause short skirts or not those girls cannot dress themselves.  If even I can spot epic fashion fails, there's some gaping problems. 

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

Sorry. For a moment there I forgot the unemployed are poor

RidingFool's picture

and unemployed.

This one's probably on me

gamerarocks's picture

When I think of what being unemployed would be like, I'm not thinking of stimulating the economy spending money I wouldn't have on Lexus christmas gifts, 70" TVs, or worrying how much time the insurance I can't afford will take to get.

Like I said, that's probably on me.  I'm sure the rest of the unemployed are following the mantra 'you have to spend money to make money'.  

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

I voted for Zooey Deschanel btw

Rajah's picture

 Jennifer Anniston has been through too many relationships and popped out too many bastards to be still hot.

Mythbusters is the only reality show I've really watched

What gets me

FearlessFreep's picture

I think they voted JA the sexiest chick "of all time"!!! (Are people's memories THAT short?) 

Maybe if the qualifier was

gamerarocks's picture

'sexiest photoshopped checkout-line-rag-darling' then maaaaaaybe, cause they show some decent pics of her and most of the other females they show not so very flattering pics of.  Perhaps.  Either way, the true no doubt about it sexiest ever who somehow finished 2nd in that sad joke of a vote is hotter in her 60's than any of the others at their best. 

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

I eagerly anticipate tonight's showing

RidingFool's picture

of Disaster Movie, a serious look at the spectacle of Kardashian ass and the attached G-Thang, err, g-string. Whatevs.

For a more serious review of plot, see here: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disaster_Movie. However, one must first suffer the begging of one Dr. Sengai Podhuvan, which takes longer than getting to the actual plot summary. Heh.

Quote:

During a fateful night, a group of impossibly attractive 20-somethings must dodge a series of man-made and natural disasters.

Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minnillo, Kim Kardashian, Carmen Electra, G-Thang

 

You're making me glad I don't have satelite

gamerarocks's picture

Don't see that one on any of my channel selections, and for that I'm grateful.

My final Tuesday of having H2 and enjoying The Universe.  Go fuck yourself History Channel. 

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

I am so sorry

RidingFool's picture

you're paying all that money to watch the Hister channel.

The Danube isn't on very often

gamerarocks's picture

The Military Channel has most of the mid 20th Century west central Europe stuff.  H2, or History International had/has some interesting archaeology things, and now the shows I did like on the primary channel such as The Universe, How the States, and others.  Even so, the pickings are rather thin.  Won't matter next week anyway, the redhead will miss the Chiller channel more than I'll miss H2 and the others in that range.

My iPod is going to get worn out.  

One out of four people is freakishly stupid. If three of your friends are normal, then it's you.

 

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