I have taken a room *** SPOILER ALERT *** at an exotic hotel in Inja, where, to my complete surprise

• there are no flies;
• it never rains; thus,
• there is no humidity;
• there are no pickpockets;
• heat is not required;
• all the rivers are clean and bright; and,
• there are no holes anywhere in the floor or the street for human excrement to escape, consequently
• all the blather about a lack of flush toilets and clean water is complete crap.

I am in the process of securing my possessions and arranging passage on a tramp steamer bound for such a wondrous place. I shall let you know how it goes.