I saw a movie, in a theater!

Yeah, its been a while since I have.  Pirates 4 or Thor was the last, don't remember which was the most recent.  Doesn't matter, cause I saw Johnny English Reborn.

SPOLIER ALERT

Having said spoiler alert, I almost consider that a disservice.  That or an undeserved compliment to the writers, cause there aren't any spoilers.  Not a single one.  This is possibly the most predictable movie I've seen since the infamous summer of '82.

I like Rowan Atkinson, I really do.  Mr Bean (TV) was a wonderful showcase of non verbal talent.  Black Adder is, personally, the funniest Britcom made bar none.  Mr Atkinson can deliver sarcasm the way it's meant to be delivered. 

That being said, Johnny English the 2nd wasn't anything more than an excercise in what stale joke can we fit into the next scene and slide in Bond references so many times we'll be thought of as clever.  I mean it, every scene, just when you begin to hope against hope that the joke, that's so old it predates the pyramids, you see coming around the corner plays out differently somehow, CRASH! there it is just like you knew it would be.  After those first four minutes it doesn't get any better.

The rookie sidekick, the bitchy boss, the caring shrink, the turncoat; they and their associates are all there, in all their stereotypical glory, doing and saying exactly what you expect at the time you expect them too.  It's like driving home from the store; you know where the stopsigns are, how long each traffic light takes to change, what color cars are parked in the driveways you pass, where the potholes are and how to steer clear of them.  It's mundane, routine, day to day.  There's nothing wrong with it, but at the same time you don't make a movie about it.  That's what this movie is, it's driving home from the store.  You might see someone walking down the sidewalk wearing questionable attire, or see the lady in the car next to you pick her nose, or even the bus cutoff that jackass who's lanedodging, but beyond a brief amused smirk it's not funny.  And there were few enough of those smirks during the movie that I know how many times I did.  (3) 

If you've never seen Rowan Atkinson before, then perhaps this movie would be a good introduction to him, I can't say.  If you've never seen a spy movie or spy movie spoof before, then perhaps this would be fresh, maybe.  If on the other hand you have done any of those, wait until it shows up on FX or AMC and be sure to make use of the commercial breaks.  


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