Introduce your self here (newbie)

...need special treatment.

 Read all the way through before starting prep.

1) Procure two human feet. wash thoroughly.

2) Remove the nails.

3) Snip off any bits that show signs of Athlete's Foot.

4) Soak overnight in the fridge in a brine (5 gal. water, 1½ cup salt, 1½ cup brown sugar).

5) Rinse, and steam for 1 hour on a bed of mustard greens and fresh rhubarb.

6) Transfer feet to a crockpot (discarding greens & rhubarb) and cook on low for 6 hours, with:

1 whole bay leaf

1 stem of fresh rosemary

3 whole cloves of roasted garlic

½ cup sun-dried tomatoes

¼ cup brown sugar

¼ olive oil

¼ cup bacon fat strained through cheesecloth

7) Take feet, brown under a broiler for 10 minutes. At the same time, strain and reduce cooking liquid by ½ (reserving sun-dried tomatoes).

Serve browned feet over wild rice/blue corn/brown rice blend (equal parts of each grain, boiled seperately in salt-free vegan vegetable stock -- available in finer supermarkets), fluffed and mixed together.

Garnish with reserved sun-dried tomatoes and ¼ cup quartered oil-cured Kalamata olives.

Serves 4-6 adults (assuming adult-sized feet).

Bon Appetit!

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~No, my young padawan; this one is mine.~