The Martains turn their envious eyes toward Earth

Sarah Palin today?

is visiting, but don't despair, she will be appearing in your colony later in the tour.

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 There I've said it!

She's better looking than the Palindrone, fer shure.

No doubt someone down there will be kissing their Royal Asses.

 Fuck the royals

especially Fergy <drools>

Rajah likes the redheads

I am somewhat aware that America is no longer a colony. You're a former colony, with a White House that was painted pink.

Present-day colonial life can be a bit of a bitch, though.

I recall a time when I was wandering around a former British encampment in Florida. A couple of countries had occupied the old fort at various times in its history. Every flag of every country that had occupied the fort was flying proudly over the bastion - with one exception. I knew why, of course, but I just had to ask.

The disgruntled park attendant took some exception to my question, and directed me to the indoor parts of the fort I had already seen where the Jack was on display.

Smoke that, you independistes.

it had something to do with wifey not being able to cook or something. Plus it's always good to plead poverty while out touring the colonies.

As far as Quebec City/Montreal goes, les froggies Canadiennes just can't get over that 250 year old loss on some battlefield in Quebec. You know what trying to rewrite 250 year old history is like. If you don't, all you have to do to find out is attend a Tea Party town hall meeting on the constitution.

Chuckie and his bride, Camilla, were randomly riding around Montreal in a limo quite a number of years ago. The protesters were out and about, throwing stones at glass windshields, doing whatever gives them a hard-on. When the dynamic duo arrived at their destination, they had to proceed through the back door to the event because of the disturbance.

I don't know if you've ever seen a picture of Charlie's most recent blushing bride, Camilla, but having to haul her in through a back door isn't such a bad thing. She's so unattractive that were I both drunk and stoned and it was five minutes to closing time in the seediest bar I've even been in, I couldn't bring myself to approach her for the last beer or the final dance with a hope of hauling her home for the night.

Now that's ugly.

 Hey, it would be an improvement

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