The Octogenarians II, movie-going audience 0 *** SOILED DIAPER ALERT ***
Unfortunately, I had to pay prime dollar to see this POS. May God forgive me. (sorry, Coaster, but I can't help it)
With so many OP* in this thing, it was extremely difficult to differentiate it from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. Mostly, though, shit go boom, marigolds be dammned. The only thing missing from this wonderful demonstration of love and happiness was Steve Seagull and the ever-expanding waistline that the viewing audience never gets to see.
The Sly One lives in his airplane, a CL-215 - yeah, I know, a clapped-out waterbomber, but what does Hollywood know about shit? I'd like to have heard the Canadian pitch that angle to Hollyweird dumbasses - which he keeps in a hangar.
JCVD is the only senior citizen that doesn't need subtitles to translate what he says to these old bastards. I'm thinking it has to be because of French national healthcare, because he still has all of his teeth. He has good tris too. Then he takes off his sunglasses and everything goes to hell in a handbasket.
Will someone please write a fan letter to Chuckie Cheesehead and let him know that he should spend some of his residuals on trying to hook up with a more natural hair color? No doubt he can afford it. When he dies, his kids will most likely duel to the death over what's left anyway.
There are plenty of places in the movie for bathroom breaks, probably because all of the aged peformers would have needed quite a few in order to make this thing work, what with all the enlarged prostates in evidence. Consequently, Arnie's "I'll be back" has taken on a whole new meaning.
Breast factor: 0
Chest factor: expanded by 'roids - hemorrhoids.