The Power of Oprah compels you!
This week Oprah Winfrey was removed from the Cross due to her refusal to host the Trophy Vice on her syndicated daytime talk show. As many of you will remember, Winfrey replaced Jesus on the Cross back in 1996 when she commanded her followers to not eat beef. This recent move came as a shock due to the churches adamant stance back then that they expected "Winfrey to be on the cross twice as long as that Jesus fellow." Initially the move had met with mixed success but during religious sweeps week in 1997 the Christian religion saw a 32% increase in market share with an even higher number expected next quarter. Numbers like these haven't been achieved since the Spanish Inquisition. However, it seems neither extra strong cross beams or fantastic ratings were enough to secure Oprah's place on the Cross. The fallout began last week when Winfrey denied Trophy Vice access to her couch but had hosted The One prior to the start of the campaign season. Still despite Winfrey's logical answer on why TV would not be able to grok with Oprah the religious right was still angry. In a move to appease the right Ms. Winfrey was immediately removed by the Church. The question now remains who will be the new face on the Cross? Followers of the Trophy Vice have started an aggressive campaign to get her as the replacement which is a bit ironic considering the attacks they leveled on The One. When asked for comment Winfrey simply stated "On November 5th I'll be back on top...beyotch!"