SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM - Saw Five Movies Last Week - SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
<rant> For those of you left here who don't mind reading between the Spams, I saw five movies last week. Prior to a few days ago, I had been clearing 25-50 spams per day from this site at all hours. Well fuck that shit. If Matt doesn't care about this site, why the hell should I? He has obviously done nothing to make it more difficult for spammers, such as permanently revoking their handles or having a waiting periiod to post links. Sure, the spammers can always get more handles, but why hand our Chinese friends such an easy board for them to Spam? No doubt these Chinese miscreants are just using Cranky's to raise shier Google profile, but why be so accommodating. I'm just tired of killing Spams at all hours of the day and night and I'm done with that. </rant>
That being said I saw five movies last week. I'll start with the worst first.
Letters to Juliette - Unless you've suffered multiple traumatic brain injuries, the plot of this chick flick is totally predictable. Vanessa Redgrave shines, though, as a woman prompted to come to Italy to find her long lost lover of 50 years past. Fifty years ago, she wrote a letter to Julliete at a shrine Verona built to the Shakespearean Emo chick, and which was discovered and answered five decades later by the film's protagonist. Bimbo (I forget her name) had come to Verona with her husbane to be who has spent the entire trip ignoring her. Will the old woman find her long lost love? Will her handsome grandson connect with our neglected hero? What? You did have multiple traumatic brain injuries and you don't know? Okay, I'll tell you, but first tell me why you voted tof George Bush. Twice. I give this a C-. Or if you're a macho dude like moi, a D.
Splice - This could have been a good little horror flick if it hadn't been ruined by a sex with the monster scene which was a genuine WTF movie moment. This thing really did have potential, but somehow it wandered on to the Moron Trail though the Stupid Forrest and rapidly got lost. I give it a C at best only because I hated Letters to Juliette even more.
The A-Team - I had a blast at this one as did my wife and grown son. But then again, I'm like a big 12-year old. Liam Neeson does as good a job as Hannibal as did George Peppard, and Shalto Copeley (Main Dude from District 9) as Murdock was a joy to watch. Bradley Cooper as Face did a fine job and Quinton "Rampage" Jackson was far better as B.A. than Mr. T. ever was. But then again, the Gerber Baby could have out acted Mr. T. I give this one a B.
The Karate Kid - This remake is better than the original. As a bonus, you get to see plenty of nice sights in China and learn a bit about their culture. Jackie Chan does a fine job as Mr. Han in this quite serious role. Jaden Smith is outstanding as Dre. I'm sure it helped improve the realism having two actors who are both martial artists. They face a menacing presence of an evil Kung Fu teacher who is so evil, when he's not out teaching his kids to bully others, he's at home spamming innocent movie boards with his cheap Chinese shit. A-
Harry Brown - Michael Caine's character gets the red ass when his best friend is killed by street thugs in his neighborhood. He is a quite elderly chronically ill retired British Marine. I had thought this would be English Death wish, but I was quite wrong. Harry Brown ends up making Charles Bronson's character look like a pussy. It's shot in the sparse British style of so many of their mysteries which show up on our PBS and has an excellent supporting cast. My only complaint was some of the dialog was difficult to understand. Why can't those Brits learn to speak English? I ws on the edge of my seat for a good part of it because this film is full of unintended consequences of Harry Brown's actions and one never knows where this film is going to end up. Solidly A.
I now return you to your regularly scheduled Spamming.