(Warning: This profile may contain objective information.) Colin Hanks/Actor (on the right): Band of Brothers (2001) Get Over It (2001) Roswell (tv) (1999) Schuyler Fisk/Actor (on the left): Snow Day (2000) The Baby-Sitters Club (1995)

Mr. Cranky:
Celebrity Death Match: Sissy Spacek vs. Tom Hanks. Who wins? Sissy gets a tool of some kind since she's a woman.

Schuyler Fisk (SF): Maybe a gardening tool.

Colin Hanks (CH): With the gardening tool, she'd probably win. He'd probably say, no, I can't do this. I can't hit a girl.

It simply cannot be fun to work with Jack Black. He's upstaging you in every scene by acting like a complete idiot which anybody can do. You have to hate this guy, right?

CH: Completely hate his guts

SF: Yeah.

CH: He tried to be all nice to me and pretend to be listening to what I was saying, but he's such a diva. I was supposed to bullshit all these answers, right?

SF: The thing that was hard with him was that he's so funny that it was hard for us to not be laughing.

CH: It's Jack's movie.

SF: There's nobody like him.

I assume you worked in this movie because the portrayal of anybody over twenty-five is of a self-serving ass, so this enthusiasm undoubtedly came from your own experiences with your parents, so I'd like you to elaborate.

CH: The reason why I dug it was, yeah, the kids were smarter than the parents, but that has to do with the fact that it was the first smart kids I've seen in a script.

So how are you two smarter than your parents?

CH: I'm not saying I'm smarter than my parents, I'm saying it was the smartest kids I've read. Sean was the smartest character I've ever read for a kid still in high school. You always think you're better than your parents.

SF: My parents think so highly of me, it makes me want to bow down to them and say "youıre so wonderful".

CH: When you move out you realize your parents are so much more smarter than you.

I know the film focuses on Orange County, but isn't LA just one big cesspool?

CH: Yes. Yes. Uh, yes. In my opinion, the whole of Southern California is pretty much a cesspool, but hey, if you're young and you've got good lungs, spend some time in a cesspool and then get out, hopefully with your soul intact.

SF: L.A. has made me appreciate...

CH: ...the other areas of the world.

SF: Yeah. But I guess I just kind of look at it like I'm there for work not for a movie necessarily.

How has Bosom Buddies changed your life?

CH: Um, it's made me appreciate drag queens as artists.

SF: How did it change my life? I canıt answer that.

You realize that everyone resents you for being the children of famous people and they all suspect you have no talent. Do you get in a lot of fights?

CH: No. I go: "whatever, dude".

SF: I've spent my whole life being extra nice to people so people will like me and not think bad of me. I assume that people do assume those things about me: "oh, youıve only got where you are because of who your parents are" and thatıs so not the case. You want to make people like you for you. Because people thought that of me it made me do the exact opposite. For awhile, I just wanted so badly for that not to be an issue. But, there's nothing I can do about who I am.

CH: What was the question, dude? I'm sorry. No fights. I used to take it personally but now Iım like, if you're going to dwell on that shit, it's not worth my time or energy or anything like that. People are going to think that and I know that it's not the way that it works. He didn't do anything. He didn't help me get an agent. He didn't help me get a job. He didn't call anybody and say "hey, can you hook my kid up". I know he didn't do anything like that because I wouldn't let him.

SF: People already think that, so you don't want any part of it.

CH: Hopefully weıll give them (the media) better stuff to talk about.

What's the deal with this Kasdan kid? Obviously he's well connected. Is he a brat or what?

SF: Jake is great. He's so opposite of a brat. He's so normal, cool.

CH: He's a dork.

SF: Yeah, he's a dork.

CH: Everyone just wanted to be in the movie. When something is good, you just want to be in it.

At any time between the three of you, did any one of you go to the other ones and say, "Hey, what's your mom/dad like?"

SF: No

CH: No

SF: I don't think we ever talked about it. Ever.

CH: Except when we said that oh, that'll be the thing people talk about and then that was it.

How can either of you identify with anyone having a hard time getting into college when I doubt either of you had or will have a hard time getting into college?

CH: I am having a hard time getting into college.

SF: I'm having a hard time because I can't write an essay after being out of school for years.

CH: I applied to six schools. Got into two. Went to the first one and didn't like it and transferred to the other one and dropped out after two years. School was never my forté.