Up

Bomb Rating: 

Flying elephants are one thing, but let’s not be ridiculous.

Up

The premise of “Up” is simple. First you take a crotchety old man who hates the entire world and lives alone in a house that's about ready to fall down. Next you introduce an eight year old kid with about as much common sense as a gerbil walking into a gay bar. Somehow these types of films always manage to find some outrageous reason to put the mismatched pair together whether they like it or not. This gross mismatching reminds one of Felix Ungar and Oscar Madison in “The Odd Couple”, or Paris Hilton with any actor other than a porn star.

Ed Asner, who played a grumpy boss on both the Mary Tyler Moore and Lou Grant TV shows, has now added "old" to his repertoire to play protagonist Carl Fredricksen. Ed Asner is no ordinary crank. He is the virtuoso of vituperation and the Pavarotti of peeve. He doesn't deliver his lines, he growls them like a wood chipper on slow speed. The only other actor of note was Christopher Plummer who plays the malevolent soulless obsessive force of evil, much like he did in The Sound of Music.

There’s no use naming any of the other actors, seeing as how that damned 8-year-old could never shut his mouth long enough for anyone else to have gotten a word in edgewise. If they gave out merit badges for chatter, this twerp would have made Eagle Scout before lunch. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?

The 8-year-old “Wilderness Explorer” Russell shows up on Carl’s doorstep one day in an attempt to secure his one remaining merit badge for “helping old people.” He shows Carl the empty spot on his sash where the merit badge will go: Right there between the Homo Discrimination Badge and the Pushing an Atheist Down a Staircase Badge. Much to Carl’s annoyance, and damn near everyone else’s in the theater, Russell accidentally ends up stowing away on Carl’s airborne house the morning Carl escapes.

I had no trouble suspending disbelief to where I could accept Carl's house, transported aloft by a bunch of party balloons, ending up in the precise spot on the globe thousands of miles away and exactly where Carl wanted to go. However, I could not accept that he could afford that house in the first place with his job selling balloons at the zoo, and could afford to retire from that job as well. That’s stretching it too far for even a Disney cartoon. Flying elephants are one thing, but let’s not be ridiculous.

In another return to Disney tradition, the film features talking dogs thanks to the magic of high-tech dog collars. Since they are dogs, they don't really have anything to say. Of course the dog lovers in the audience won't care about that. They will think it so lovable to hear Fido say anything at all. One may expect bon mots such as: "Throw me the ball", "Yes I would like more bacon", or the ever popular "I would like to smell your crotch now.” The pathetic thing is that these stupid dogs end up having the best lines in the entire film.

This movie is so retarded that ironically, the only person who would truly appreciate "Up" is a kid with Down Syndrome.

To spread the word about this Up review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
17 Comments

Like This Up Review? Vote it Up.

3

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • There's quite clearly something going on under the surface of "You, Me and Dupree" that makes it much more insidious than just a simple buddy comedy.

    In many movies there's the idea that's on the s

  • I thought this was some kind of sex farce and what do I get?

  • This film is a stunningly original combination of "Silence of the Lambs" and that recurring Star Trek premise where the Holodeck safeties have failed and trapped the crew in period costumes.

Excellent parting shot.

michael3b's picture

Brutal- the way I like 'em.

Coaster and I wrote this review

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

Hope you like it.  The last line was Coaster's.

{;-) Dan in Miami

that's funny

Rajah's picture

cause Coaster said he and his family really appreciated that movie

The house thing got me too

scarlet_ohara's picture

How did the old guy afford that house on a balloon salesman's salary?

.....What does a balloon salesman make?

I'm possibly in the wrong buisness.

The house was abandoned

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

So we assume the couple got it almost for free.  The movie then shows them fixing it up when they were still young.

{;-) Dan in Miami

 

He looks like Warren Buffett

Haha's picture

The character Carl Fredricksen looks like Warren Buffett.

The talking dogs was the best part..............SQUIRREL!!!!

Rajah's picture

everybody laughed when the house flew by the zepplin and it showed the dogs inside playing poker like in the classic painting

The best part of "Up" is the symbolism

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

If you look at the illustration that goes with this review you will get a hint of it.

But you have to see the movie to really get it.

{;-) Dan in Miami

What is the symbolism?

HS's picture

Americans at risk of losing their houses?  Or the terrible way we treat our elderly?

 

GREAT review BTW, guys. 

 

HS

The symbolism of Up

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

The house represents the old man Carl's grief for his dearly beloved dead wife.  At times in the movie he even looks up at the house floating above him and calls it by his wife's name as if talking to heaven. 

He can't let go of the house to go to a retirement home because of what it represents to him.  He even gets in a fight over the stupid mail box.  He can't let go of his memories of his wife and how they shared a happy life together in the house.  So he pulls the weight of the house and his wife's memory behind him.  Only when he reaches the place near the falls where they planned to go all their lives does the house sink back down to Earth.  At this point Carl lets go of the house and moves on with his life.

{;-) Dan in Miami

A Christian Review of "Up"

Rajah's picture

Question

HS's picture

So what's their deal?  Are they actually serious?  I mean, their scathing review sounds like something from The Onion...not to mention that they didn't even check their facts - the movie is rated PG, not G. 

HS

Oh come on.

Foo's picture

No one ever said anything about mj and his balloons.

Plus...

Foo's picture

it wouldn't be a run-down house these days. It would be a brand new, four bedroom with jacuzzi and pool, servant's quarters, a stable and tennis courts. The owner would be in Argentina, inexplicably called away to manage what is now known as his Ponzi scheme from there.

Rotten Tomatoes picks "Up" as the best movie of the summer

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

Could an animated movie turn out to be the best overall movie of the year?  Stay tuned.

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/news/1842008/rotten_tomatoes_summer_2009_w...

{;-) Dan in Miami

 

 

Dan, I'd have to agree with Rotten Tomatoes.

HS's picture

Up is, simply, superb entertainment.  Pixar's best since The Incredibles.

 

HS

Job posting for Carl Fredricksen

Dan_in_Cincinnati's picture

Who says career opportunities are limited for balloon artists.  This Craigs List ad seems to be legitimate.

http://miami.craigslist.org/brw/evg/1680521923.html

{;-) Dan in Miami

 

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.