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I went to see 28 days later and this asshole sitting behind me was chewing his fucking popcorn so goddamn loud, that I couldn't hear a thing! I should have turned around and yelled "chew softer, or I'll kick your ass, you butt- fuckin' son of a bitch!", but didn't, and the fucking prick kept chewing and chewing until I was ready to whip out an AK-47 and blow the motherfucker to kingdom come. If you're ever in a movie theater with me and are chewing louder than a fucking freight train, rest assured that I will BEAT THE FUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU. I WILL RIP YOU A NEW ASSHOLE, TEAR YOUR FUCKING CHEST OPEN, AND SHOVE YOUR HEART UP YOUR FUCKING ASS, YOU FUCKING SADIST! LEARN TO FUCKING BE QUIET IN A MOVIE THEATER, OR ME OR SOMEONE LIKE ME WILL FUCK YOU UP SO BAD THAT THEY'LL FIND YOU SCATTERED IN 6 COUNTRIES! YOU LOUD PIECES OF SHIT
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