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2 Fast 2 Furious
Mr. Cranky's rating:
If movies were cars, "2 Fast 2 Furious" would be a Yugo.
I have sperm that are older-looking than Paul Walker. Fortunately for the Mitsubishi Motors Company, his youthful appearance does not impede him from buzzing around the streets of Miami in a souped-up Lancer like Nick Nolte during Happy Hour.Brian O'Connor (Walker) is fresh from the original, though minus his police badge, the L.A. location and any co-star with drawing power. He's also utterly unconcerned with keeping a low profile as he opens the film racing for cash. How an unemployed ex-cop manages to own and maintain a $100,000 vehicle, we have no idea, but it doesn't seem to stop any of the other hundred mechanics and fast food employees who join him, so maybe such questions are irrelevant. Like most sequels, the film spits out copies like a Xerox machine after a lightning strike. Caught by the cops, O'Connor agrees to help the Feds catch a money-laundering baddie named Carter Verone (Cole Hauser) by impressing him with his driving skills. Brian's hip, urban friend Roman (Tyrese) joins in the fun, along with undercover cop Monica Fuentes (Eva Mendes), who's so undercover that audiences will mistake her for pointless eye candy until one of the film's characters establishes her purpose with the following line: "She's deep undercover." Real deep, apparently. What has happened to the career of John Singleton? One minute the guy is debuting with "Boyz N the Hood" and being hailed as the next Spike Lee, the next minute he's helming leftover sequels and amusing himself by making the street racer's use of nitrous look like Captain Picard going to warp on mescaline. If movies were cars, "2 Fast 2 Furious" would be a Yugo.
Was it really that bad?
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- why are women and girls these days such bimbos sluts and tarts JohnBoy19
- the only good thing about his movie JohnBoy19
- I agree with Mr. Crankey!!! arbobug
- Wonderful a movie about street racing without the street racing That_cat_is_ugly
- Public Apology to Jessalyn Leyra Karen_G
- COOL MOVIE!!! Wildfire
- 2 FLAT 2 FATUOUS - 100 Minute Music Video Groate
- After viewing 2Fast 2Furious 1½ time 25Lima
- I NEED MOVIE REVIEWERS NOW!!! magicman
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- Not only that, SW Xur
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- Got a book for you, TCP... ModernRonin
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- So I was playing Wing Commander IV again the other day. Theodoric
- Gay Pride! jessica-renee
- Amnesty International issues a statement on "2 Fast 2 Furious" RevAgnostic
- Class of '03, yo. Eamon
- The other white (so to speak) meat...? Wulfgar
- Why 'Terminator 3' can't possibly live up to HYPE PsychoRabbit
- 'The Hulk' trailer looks like a piece of shit. Throwing_Muses
- JENNIFER CONNELLY PsychoRabbit
- The more trailers i see for it, the more impressed i am Drew_Atreides
- You're being kind, Drew. Throwing_Muses
- I never watched the show or read it Marion
- That wasn't CGI, guys. Coaster
- Too true on the Jen Con Front.. Drew_Atreides
- Re: 'The Hulk' trailer looks like a piece of shit. Rockpriz
- I might see it at the second-run theaters. Theodoric
- Coaster hunter
- I should see that. I have a personal connection to Mark Read. Coaster
- Dad-Ness is lookin' forward to this flick Mad-Ness_Monster
- So... skilly
- Connelly's tits are real PsychoRabbit
- Um, Rabbit... skilly
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- GOD I'm slow PsychoRabbit
- Rabbit Becky_Sharp
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- Oh, yeah. Now I see the eagle... sort of... Mad-Ness_Monster
- Alvin? Becky_Sharp
- Thanks Nessie. And Becky, if you're seriously bored... PsychoRabbit
- I have to admit Becky_Sharp
- In that case, PsychoRabbit
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- "Boy's Names that start with 'A'" Mad-Ness_Monster
- (blush) PsychoRabbit
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- I saw that episode Critico
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- 2 Fast 2 Furious Driving Poll The_Innocent_Bystander
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- I'd like to see a little more tolerance of John Doe. Throwing_Muses
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- This movie was REALLY stupid. So stupid, in fact, it was entertaining <sp> Drew_Atreides
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- There's a reason why John Doe won't come out of the closet. Jerk-in-the-Box
- Damn, there's some real child porn on Kazaa! John_Doe
- Milkman Dan and Hairhead are bisexual, btw. John_Doe
- Church is a meanie-mean! Deaner
- One More Soldier Killed. liquid-sunshine
- Julianne Moore nude and havnig sex (from a movie) John_Doe
- Just Found A Hilarious Web Site! Billydog
- Lurker poll! Xur
- Excuse me kind sir.... whack_chick
- Two women fight over one man: Chronological LiveJournal.Com fight. John_Doe
- Profile update on John Doe. Darkest_Ever_ Darker_John_Doe
- THE HULK/ 2 Fast 2 Furious is available on Piracy channels. John_Doe
- Cool Belgians defeat silly Belgians at Roland Garros PsychoRabbit
- reem me reem me good brett
- Can someone direct me to the toilet? Underworld
- Profile update on Becky Sharp. John_Doe
- Idea: archivist
- Panthers B-Day is Sunday. archivist
- Answers for last forum's lyrics quiz church
- Children of Dune mini-series John_Doe
- Oh no! C@n I fix this? Hellbilly
- Finished "Jedi Outcast", started "Return to Castle Wolfenstein" Drew_Atreides
- WHO will play Martha Stewart in the MOVIE? PsychoRabbit
- Check this out Hellbilly
- What will Bush's next war be about? PsychoRabbit
- my mood mia_wallace
- Rick Santorum Schmorum... skilly
- To Mr. Cranky re: CafePress SavageWombat
- Man, i hate Tennis, but i ESPECIALLY hate the WILLIAMS SISTERS Drew_Atreides
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- "Jesus built my hot rod!!!" *the Poll* Mad-Ness_Monster
- You know, as a non-regular 'The Onion'-peruser... PsychoRabbit
- Trembling with rage... Becky_Sharp
- Has anyone heard about that national "do not call" list? Uber
- Would recommend against it, Uber... ModernRonin
- Um NiceMarmot
- More fun w/telemarketers. ModernRonin
- Doesn't anyone have caller ID? TCP
- I'm not referring to Becky, though... TCP
- Speaking as a former telemarketer... Ken_Kaminski
- This is the thanks I get... skilly
- Unfortunately, "Sorry, not interested" doesn't work. daz
- Well, I'll tell you the truth Ken_Kaminski
- Used to get 10 telemarketers a day... BigDog
- Also... TCP
- That's the great thing about "hang on a minute", Ken! ModernRonin
- BigDog... skilly
- Give me your telphone number Becky. John_Doe
- I thought... NiceMarmot
- Well, I'm basing what I know on one person. ModernRonin
- I've never heard of not being paid... TCP
- Another special option or two The_Innocent_Bystander
- And I'm sure... skilly
- Telemarketers are paid little PsychoRabbit
- Actually, strangely enough,... TCP
- Then, she's right after all... skilly
- John_Doe, I *already* gave you Becky's number. Xur
- My sister has a great way to deal with telemarketers. Xur
- That's funny, Xur... Slothrop
- Shhh! Xur
- INNOCENT BYSTANDER Shakesmear
- I sold credit insurance Ken_Kaminski
- I called 303-575-1696 daz
- Re: SHAKESMEAR The_Innocent_Bystander
- You're really deaf? skilly
- Re: skilly The_Innocent_Bystander
- Re: skilly (part 2) The_Innocent_Bystander
- I'm too insignificant to warrant capital letters... skilly
- (Blank Article Subject Line) The_Innocent_Bystander
- Funny, reversephonedirectory.com ModernRonin
- Innocent Bystander Shakesmear
- MR: church
- MR... Ringo_ate_my_baby
- Re: SHAKESMEAR The_Innocent_Bystander
- Did I... The_Innocent_Bystander
- ignore google - archivist
- Oh HO!! ModernRonin
- Innocent Bystander Shakesmear
- Re: SHAKESMEAR The_Innocent_Bystander
- So, that's why the innocent bystander sounds english - daz
- Re: So, that's why the innocent bystander sounds english - The_Innocent_Bystander
- You haff chozen VISELY! Grammar Nazi
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