A Beautiful Mind

Bomb Rating: 

This movie is a complete farce and should not even be connected to John Forbes Nash, Jr.

(THIS REVIEW CONTAINS WHAT SOME WILL CONSIDER TO BE AN IMPORTANT SPOILER. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.)

Where the hell did Jennifer Connelly's breasts go? Connelly plays Alicia, the wife of the movie's main character, mathematician John Forbes Nash, Jr. (Russell Crowe), and her lovely, full-sized breasts have all but disappeared. This is an outrage! I demand to know what the hell happened! Did she have breast-reduction surgery? Did the filmmakers decide Jennifer's body would be a distraction and force her to wear a corset? Did they use computers to erase them? Are they floating in jars of tepid formaldehyde in a trailer somewhere on the set? There is some sort of conspiracy here, and I DEMAND TO KNOW THE TRUTH!!

The entire emotional palette of this film is predicated on the idea that Nash and his wife are married throughout his struggle with schizophrenia because at the very end, Nash gives a very nice speech in which he thanks Alicia for her devotion. Unfortunately, director Ron Howard, obviously laboring under the impression that audiences are too stupid to understand the truth, changed things to make them more palatable. In fact, this movie is a complete farce and should not even be connected to John Forbes Nash, Jr. It's not his real life. It ignores the truth.

Ironically, Howard's style is entirely conducive to this gaping lie. For the first half of the film, he portrays Nash's schizophrenia as fact. We see Nash's point-of-view. Supposedly, he works for the government under a secretive character named William Parcher (Ed Harris). Later, we find out Parcher and others are imagined. Great.

Ron Howard himself is somewhat schizophrenic in the way he chooses to ignore relevant parts of Nash's life. For instance, Nash had a relationship with another woman (Howard portrays Alicia as the first and only), an illegitimate child, and was caught in an FBI sting meant to trap homosexuals (in fact, Nash supposedly experimented with men, giving new meaning to the term "long division"). In fact, "A Beautiful Mind" is perfect Hollywood crap. All the warm fuzzy parts are accentuated and all the potentially uncomfortable parts are neatly excised, thus deceiving the audience into thinking a man's life was something it simply wasn't. In essence, this movie is a form of reverse slander -- a fantasy as deluded as the imaginations of its central character.

To spread the word about this A Beautiful Mind review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.
0 Comments

Like This A Beautiful Mind Review? Vote it Up.

1

Rate This Movie:

Average: 3.6 (9 votes)

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • Any film with a main, repeating joke of Randy Quaid dropping his pants, bending over, and mooning the audience while bouncing his sagging scrotum off the fat of his inner thighs

  • Archaeologists dig up fossilized crap all the time.However, unless it's really, really old, they don't ask people to pay money to see it: "Hey, look everyone!

  • Eric Roberts plays Nash, the bad guy, in this film about two security guards named Earl (Martin Lawrence) and Hank (Steve Zahn) who get caught up in a police corruption scandal.