The Adventures of Sebastian Cole

Bomb Rating: 

The transgendered lesbian is to independent cinema what the tricycle-riding bear is to Barnum and Bailey.

Perhaps I don't have as much to say about this movie as some others because, despite my best efforts, I couldn't figure out how it got made. I read writer/director Tod Williams' resumé and discovered that he had a degree in filmmaking from NYU. Could have fooled me. NYU probably has lab rats that could put together a better film than this.

Look, I'm all for transgendered lesbians when they're not put in the films expressly to play freak show. Honestly, the transgendered lesbian is to independent cinema what the tricycle-riding bear is to Barnum and Bailey. In this film, Sebastian Cole's (Adrian Grenier) stepfather, Hank/Henrietta (Clark Gregg) is the TL (I believe the TL is also one of the upper models in the Acura line of automobiles). And while he's transgendered, he may or may not be a lesbian. He wants to stay with Sebastian's mom and he seems to still like women.

I also just want to say that I don't appreciate that these men make such good women. There you are looking at them, wondering what those estrogen-enhanced breasts look like, and suddenly Mr. Wood decides it's time to make like Jim Morrison and break on through to the other side. Sorry, but that just feels creepy.

Other than Henrietta, "The Adventures of Sebastian Cole" is something like "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" meets "Wild Strawberries." There's so much existential angst happening in this movie that sitting around doing nothing almost becomes a raison d'etre.