Aeon Flux

Bomb Rating: 

I find a lot of things hard to believe about "Aeon Flux," both about the film itself and the critical reaction to it. First of all, did anybody else watch the source material -- critic or film executive? If you were a film executive and you watched the original animated shorts and the short-lived TV series that followed, it's not the kind of thing that would cause you to think, "Hey, this should be turned into a movie."

Oh sure, if you were a complete idiot, that might be what you'd think, but most film executives are also driven by a desire to make money, and at best, the fan base for "Aeon Flux" consists of some now out-of-work 30-somethings who still talk about how MTV was so cool "back in the day." Given the original suits worn by the lead character, I can see a porn director wanting to make a feature out of this, but not much more. I mean, there was hardly any dialogue in the original, so putting dialogue in the feature film, making it live action, and clothing Charlize Theron immediately alienates those two or three dudes who thought an "Aeon Flux" movie was going to be "rad."

Then there's the critical reaction to it, comparing it to such things as "Catwoman." Okay, I really, really hate being the voice of reason here because the movie is basically worthless, but "Aeon Flux" is no "Catwoman". That's like comparing cat shit to elephant shit. One is in the litter box and all it requires is for you to scoop it out and throw it away and no more worry. The other is a huge, steaming pile of dung that requires a shovel. Furthermore, it's not like the animated series was that good in the first place. It's like expecting the "Josie and the Pussycats" movie to be stellar. People liked "Aeon Flux" for a variety of reasons, none of which had anything to do with a good story or interesting characters. The reasons were: Aeon wore really unusual, sexy outfits, the animated short featured lots of grotesque, sexual imagery, particularly involving tongues, and the animation was weird. None of those things screams "feature film" very loudly, if at all.

Nonetheless, here we have Aeon sent on a mission by Handler (Frances McDormand) to assassinate the leader of a future world, Trevor Goodchild (Marton Csokas). Aeon hooks up with her spy buddy, Sithandra (Sophie Okonedo) and off they go into Trevor's compound. Naturally, what Aeon finds surprises her because if it didn't, she'd just kill Trevor and the movie would be over. No, she finds him familiar and he reveals the society's big secret to her and then they have to stop Oren Goodchild (Jonny Lee Miller) from taking over.

The whole damn thing isn't that much different than "The Matrix" with the exception of all the edits every time there's a fight scene. Why filmmakers would make an action movie with fight scenes where they had to edit every scene to make it appear that Charlize Theron was tossing some guy across the room is beyond me, but they appear to think most of us won't notice.

If you need another reason to stay away, keep in mind that "Aeon Flux" is one of those rare movies so bad that the studio refused to screen it for critics. And now it's clear why.

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