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In Bed
By Eamon Doyle
Heart pounds rapidly
Muscles seize up
Fear
And the knowledge that this is not real
It’s happening again
I gather everything I have
I prepare
I throw myself upward
And awake
Sometimes I forget to breathe
***
Questionnaire for High School Students
By Eamon Doyle
Please circle
one answer
for each question.
1. Do you
wear glasses you don’t need
or
clothes you don’t even like
primarily because you think
they make you look
intelligent?
Yes No
2. Have you
taken up reading
the work of
anyone commonly recognized
by one name?
Yes No
3. Do you
consider yourself
a “student”
of any such person?
Yes No
4. Do you
show utter disdain
for people
who are unfamiliar with
the work of
any such person
who you happen
to be into?
Yes No
5. Do you
frequently refer to
“the machine,”
“the system,”
or
“the power structure”?
Yes No
6. Do you
endlessly speculate
about whether
reality as we perceive it
is actually an illusion,
whether
free will exists at all,
or anything
like that?
Yes No
7. Have you
made eye-rolling
an art form?
Yes No
8. Do you
experience
sudden, unpredictable mood swings
(for example,
from nauseatingly sarcastic
to nauseatingly sarcastic
and cranky)?
Yes No
9. Do you
treat everything
so damn seriously
that your friends
are starting to
grow annoyed
with you?
Yes No
10. Does that
not matter,
because life
is completely and totally futile
anyway?
Yes No
If you
answered “Yes”
to four or more
of the above questions,
congratulations!
You are ready for college.
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