All About the Benjamins

Bomb Rating: 

Where are the white people in this film? I know Miami is supposed to be quite the melting pot and all, but there have to be at least a few in town. I mean, someone has to rig the elections and forge the prescriptions. Yet in "All About the Benjamins," there's nary a single unable-to-jump WASP to be found.

It's pretty obvious that Ice Cube is discriminating against white people by not putting them in his film. The only person in the film that's even close to being white is Williamson (Tommy Flanagan), though he's such an Irish caricature that it hardly counts. Ice Cube plays Bucum Jackson, a Miami bounty hunter who gets an assignment to find Reggie Wright (Mike Epps). Although he finds him, he also gets caught in the middle of a diamond heist, while Reggie loses a winning lotto ticket as he hides in the back of the crooks' getaway van. Bucum and Reggie then team up to find Reggie's lotto ticket and recover the diamonds.

Meanwhile, Ice Cube tries to make it seem like he doesn't like Reggie, but everyone knows that eventually they'll see eye-to-eye and become friends because they're "brothers." Now if Reggie had been played by an even slightly effeminate white guy, it would have added a much needed degree of tension to the relationship. And by white, I mean whitey-white: Wonderbread-eating, Pottery Barn-shopping, missionary-positioning, "Ally McBeal"-watching white. Think John Tesh, Chris Matthews, Dick Enberg or Al Roker.

I'm also concerned that Ice Cube is so mean-looking all the time. Every time I see him, I think somebody must have just kicked his dog or urinated on his favorite pair of bunny slippers. You can't look mean like that all the time. You have to smile. Ice Cube should smile. Hell, look at Willem Dafoe. He is the ugliest, meanest-looking man on the planet, but after being mean in "Streets of Fire" and "To Live and Die in L.A." he learned he had to smile if he wanted to make people like him. Consequently, he played Jesus. If that kind of story doesn't inspire Ice Cube to break into a smile so wide that he starts giggling like a little schoolgirl, I don't know what will.

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