This isn't a film. It's three films. I've just decided that I'm too lazy to review all three films separately and I doubt that anybody cares anyway. After all, they were made over 30 years ago.

The three films in the collection are "Asylum" (1972), "And Now the Screaming Starts" (1973), and "The Beast Must Die" (1974). All three feature Peter Cushing who, if you are a cinematic idiot and know virtually nothing about Peter Cushing, you at least know he played Grand Moff Tarkin in "Star Wars". He was the guy who stood next to Darth Vader and said something like "...but, Lord Vader...." It's really quite sad. Cushing had a long career and all most people know him today for is being Darth Vader's bitch.

"Asylum" was written by Robert Bloch, who wrote the novel "Psycho". Yes, that "Psycho". It's one of those anthology films, like "Tales from the Crypt", where there are a bunch of separate stories and one over-arching story to tie them all together. Does it work? Of course not. It involves a doctor in an asylum interviewing patients trying to figure out which one is the doctor who invited him to the asylum in the first place.

"The Beast Must Die" is about what happens when the black man gets too much power. There's no question you can read it that way. Tom Newcliffe (Calvin Lockhart) is the rich, black dude who invites all the white people to his retreat in order to figure out which one is a werewolf. The film even has a time-out toward the end so you can take some time to guess who the werewolf might be. Ultimately though, the movie's message is this: give the black man money and power and he'll abuse it, trap all the white people in one place, and make their lives a living hell. Oh, by the way, the werewolf turns out to be a very large black dog. The pre-CGI days simply weren't good to some films.

Finally, "And Now the Screaming Starts" is a haunted house film that takes place in the 18th century. Catherine Fengriffin (Stephanie Beacham) marries into money only to discover that her mansion is haunted by a woodsman with no eyes. Naturally, there's a mystery behind this that involves the actual woodsman, Silas (Geoffrey Whitehead) and an old conflict between his father or grandfather and the original owner of the land, Henry Fengriffen (Herbert Lom). Let's face it, if your last name is Fengriffen, ghouls haunting your house is probably the least of your problems. Incidentally, feel free to google "Stephanie Beacham nude" and you'll soon discover the only redeeming feature of this film.

It's called the "Amicus Collection" after the studio that produced the movies. Of course you probably haven't heard of them. They've been gone for ages. There are only so many cheap-ass horror films you can make before you go out of your mind, I guess.