06/06/98: Anaconda

Posted By: Tawaba


Anaconda? They should call it "Anacrapa"! I can't believe some people actually think the "special effects" look realistic. They look like something from a cheesy tv show. And Ice Cube? The man can NOT act! And what a boring charactor he played! Oh, wait, they were ALL BORING!! Well, maybe not so much Voight's. Voight was kind of ejoyable, in a painful way. His beedy eyed, evil Mexican act was hysterical at the same time as it was dreadful to experience. And that guy with the weird nose from The Cable Guy? Man, was I glad to see him get eaten. What a jerk! And what the hell was that "Baby Bird" thing about? MAN that was annoying. That woman was very irritating, besides. I was glad when Voight broke her neck with his legs in that gravity defying stunt. And Jeniffer Lopez was ok, but I thought she took this role BEFORE Selena. I mean, I could forgive that, if it was her first role in a movie, and she was desperate. But she took this role AFTER she'd already got her big break? Crap, woman. And then there's the way the film is NEVER scary. The story is absurd, and the script is pathetic. And the scenery sucks.

I hope they have a sequal, and it sucks even more, because it's fun to make fun of movies like this.


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