Every character in this film has a Russian accent except for two: Anastasia (Meg Ryan) and Dmitri (John Cusack), who both have American accents. Naturally, they're the two perfect, destined people of the film. Anastasia is the last Romanov, while Dmitri is the kitchen boy who helps her escape danger as a child and reclaim her family name as an adult. Everybody who sports a Russian accent is either evil, fat, or stupid. Apparently, that's what happens to you when you eat all that borsht and drink all that vodka.

The patently obvious politics of this film come courtesy of animator Don Bluth, best known for stalling advancements in video game technology and demonstrating where a total lack of creativity could get somebody in the world with "Space Ace."

Obviously, politics aren't his thing either. Since this movie takes place at an awfully complex time in Russian history (the murder of Nicholas II and the ascension of the Bolsheviks), it's necessary to make sure the kiddies don't get any funny ideas about the Russian Revolution. As far as they know now, it was caused by a greasy old guy named Rasputin (Christopher Lloyd) and his pet bat, Bartok (Hank Azaria).

And we continue to wonder why American children are undereducated.