Bad comedians across the world tell a common, filthy joke, that's been used over and over again since Vaudeville. The punch line is "The Aristocats" and the joke goes something like this:

A family of cats walk into a veterinarian's office with their owner. The owner tells the vet, "You have to see my cats, they've learned the most amazing trick ever."

The vet says, "I'm not a talent agent. I'm a vet, you fucking moron. Why would you bring them to me?"

The owner says, "Just watch."

After the owner snaps her finger, one by one, the cats line up: the father cat, the mother cat, and the two kittens. Slowly, each one puts its tongue up the other one's asshole. Then one by one, each cat meows in succession producing the melody to Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven."P>

For the longest time, the vet just sits in silence. Finally, he says: "That is amazing. What do you call it?"

And the owner says, "The Aristocats".

Actually, this is the 1970 Disney animated movie and has nothing to do with any joke, unless you were Walt Disney, of course, since he died right before this film was made. Ironically, "The Aristocats" is about class warfare. You see, Edgar the Butler (Roddy Maude-Roxby) overhears his employer, Madame Bonfamille (Hermione Baddelay), say that she's leaving all her money to her cats instead of him. Naturally, Edgar takes offense to this. After all, he's been working years and years for the rich Duchess only to have her screw him over by valuing her cats above him. So, he plans to get rid of the cats so that he can inherit the Duchess's money himself.

People have put the welfare of their pets above other human beings for some time, but "The Aristocats" might be the first film to present this disgusting practice in such a positive light. Edgar is the villain here. He tries to get rid of the cats in the countryside, but they find their way back with the help of a clever alleycat named Thomas. Again, this presents another opportunity for the film to compare and contrast the lower and upper classes as Thomas tries to teach Duchess (Eva Gabor) the ways of the street. Ultimately though, Thomas is civilized by the Duchess and her brood.

It's not like Edgar tries to kill the cats. He just tries to relocate them. Ironically, it actually does them so good. They see the rest of the world, Duchess meets a husband for her children, they learn about how the other half lives. Still, Edgar is the bad guy, and he's packed off into a trunk and sent, of all places, to Africa. Sure, it's Edgar's idea to try and pack the cats in the trunk and send them to Africa. I guess Africa is the most uncivilized place the filmmakers can think of. Very nice.

Disney's timing of the release of this film doesn't seem very smart, as the introductory joke indicates. How many kids will end up with copies of "The Aristocrats" instead of "The Aristocats"? How many Netflix reservations will get messed up? The release of this film makes me fear for the mental health of our nation's children.