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A Cynic's Guide to the Avengers
If there is ever a future where all of our resources have been used up, and our only source of energy is a machine powered by crap, the human race will be in luck, because all we'll have to do is insert The Avengers screen play and we'll have enough power for the next hundred years*
* this is of course assuming that The Avengers has a screen play, and the popular theory that they hired the closest alcholic ( which in Hollywood is about two feet away) to "wing it", is false.
The Avengers features Sean Connery ( whose appearence in this movie is being used as arguement to why Euthanasia is the humane thing to do), Uma Thurman ( whose acting talent I haven't seen since the last time Jim Carey spoke out of his ass), and that British that no one cares about. The movie is targeted for those in the new $15000 Volkswagon Bug with a combed over balding head, the new Fleetwoodmac CD, and nothing else because their teenage kids refuse to been seen with them.
The movie is shot in a classic British film style, incoherent and boring. It starts off by trying to introduce the British Guy in an action scene ( which for the British means that someone is actualy moving), but the director then realizes that no one gives a damn and switches to Uma Thurman. British Guy is susposed to be the country's best secret agent (no wonder the German's kicked their ass, everyone on the planet out beats him in fencing! It got to the point where school children would threaten and take him out on the streets) and Uma who is susposed to be ... someone who shows up in a leather jump suit? The plot then devolops about as badly as discount 7-11 film. British Guy meets Uma.... Blah blah blah... Sean Connery devolops mad cow's diseaese but the film crew is to afraid to say anything... blah blah blah... They have to save the world because every competent person on the planet is busy... blah blah BLAH! The director then tries to spice n' things up with British guy - Uma dialouge, which doesn't ooze humor, sexual tension, or wit but desperation. Unfortunetly, the movie has a sad ending; they both live.
The morale of the story kids: See what inbreeding and a decaying government system does to you.
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