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Ladies and gentlemen...
If I could give any advice to you, it would be this: Wear deoderant.
The long term benefits of deoderant have been proven in many social situations. The rest of my advice is just random bullshit that came to my ancient, senile mind. I will give this advice now:
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. No, forget that. You're all ugly and you lack creativity.
Enjoy your erections. You WILL miss them when they're gone.
Do one thing every day that scares a nun.
Get plenty of potassium, preferably in liquid form.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll kick you out on your sorry ass.
Live in L.A. once, but leave before it sinks into the sea.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before you start going on about how fabulous Judy Garland is.
You are FATTER than you imagine.
But above all else, WEAR DEODERANT!!!"
*******
I forgot who wrote that parody.
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