Batman and Robin

Bomb Rating: 

Well, here's another hundred million dollars down the drain. Presumably, a year or two ago, some underpaid whipping boy in the deepest pit of some special effects company came up with the freezing effect Mr. Freeze (Arnold Schwarzenegger) uses in this movie. Unfortunately, director Joel Schumacher saw it and said, "Hey, what a great thing to structure an entire movie around."

That this mediocre special effect is the best thing in the movie should give you some inkling of just how bad the rest of "Batman and Robin" is. The entire movie looks like it was filmed for an easy transition to a Burger King cup. When Batman (George Clooney) and Robin (Chris O'Donnell) first encounter Mr. Freeze, there's lots of ice skating, ice surfing and ice hockey to ensure that every four-year-old in the audience begins tugging on her parents' shirts to demand that new pair of Batman ice skates.

Once again, instead of telling a story about Batman, this new installment is about the villains. To make Mr. Freeze more menacing, some idiot audio engineer has seen fit to amplify and reverberate Arnold's voice, making it sound like two drunken Austrian immigrants belching at each other inside a metal box. The other villain is Poison Ivy (Uma Thurman), whose main purpose is apparently to have her ass kicked by Batgirl (Alicia Silverstone).

There's some real schlocky crap about family and commitment as Alfred (Michael Gough) takes ill and Batman and Robin start to fight over Poison Ivy. At the end of the film, the three Batpeople join hands in triumph, a clear signal to the audience that another one of these putrid, worthless Batman films is all but guaranteed.

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