Batman Forever

Bomb Rating: 

Someone give director Joel Schumacher a Quaalude and teach him how to film an action sequence. I'm sure in his own pompous, self-righteous way, Joel figured that having his camera imitate a bat in flight and other aerial-type movements would seem amazingly original to somebody. Unfortunately, there are only about a couple million adolescents with exactly the same idea.

The whole "Batman" industry of films is like a circus that is so full of side shows you can never reach the main event. Despite the Dark Knight's name being in the title in all three films, they are better remembered as "The Joker," "The Catwoman" and "The Riddler." Michael Keaton drops out, Val Kilmer drops in. Who really cares? "Batman Forever" is about introducing as many villains, vixens and sidekicks as time will allow.

For all Jim Carrey might offer as The Riddler, watching his attempt at serious acting as alter-ego Edward Nigma is like getting a sandpaper enema. Tommy Lee Jones as Two Face is the worst use of an Academy Award winning actor since Cher made her last fitness video. Nicole Kidman spews every psychiatric cliche in the book on her way to becoming one. And because of a crew cut, we're supposed to believe Chris O'Donnell could actually kick somebody's ass. My final words on "Batman Forever"? Check out the nipples on the bat suit.

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