03/14/08: Good review, but Cranky wasn't hard enough on this crapfest

I am a fan of the show "Seinfeld." After seeing the post-"Seinfeld" work of both co-creators, Larry David ("Curb Your Enthusiasm") and Jerry Seinfeld ("Bee Movie"), I've come to the conclusion that even after he left the show, Larry David's writing and direction are the sole reason that the show was as great as it was.

I noticed Spike Ferestein co-wrote this movie with Seinfeld. This was the guy who wrote "The Soup Nazi." After seeing both this movie and his talk show, "Talk Show with Spike Ferestein," I'm convinced that the man has had some sort of brain operation to remove whatever section of his noggin that controls the ability to be funny.

I just couldn't believe how bad this movie actually was. I can't even really point out one thing that continually ruined it, except maybe the contradictions. This thing changed it's moral, if you can say that it ever had one, constantly. The first half of the movie seems dedicated to a kind of hippy/liberal "be (BEE, GET IT?!) yourself and be (AGAIN!) happy with who you are" kind of lesson, decrying the unfeeling corporate machine of "the hive." The whole courtroom thing, with the lawyer obviously the bad guy, just centralized the confusion about the message. The guy was portrayed as a tubby, conservative, corporate villain, and left the movie emphasizing this with his warning of going against nature, and yet later he was right? Then suddenly we switch gears and the lesson ends up being to do what you're told and don't think for yourself or you'll "go against nature" and ruin the environment. They went back and forth with this little struggle, all the while padded with lame humor like "I DRANK POO WATER!" and finished the whole forsaken thing off with a Star of David-shaped kite flying at the screen. I don't really know what this was for, as other than the traditional stereotypes of whining Jewish mothers and neurotic men I didn't really pick up on how this movie involved/promoted Judaism. If I were Jewish I certainly wouldn't want this turd associated with me.

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