Behind Enemy Lines

Bomb Rating: 

When is Owen Wilson going to get his nose fixed? I know I harp on this point in virtually every review I write involving a movie with Owen in it, but that schnoz looks like it's trying to migrate over to another part of his face. I'd be less perplexed by Owen's face if he had a breast growing there. They've stopped boxing matches for less.

Since Gene Hackman has three movies in release within four weeks of each other and Owen Wilson has two, I'm assuming that "Behind Enemy Lines" was the one that was rushed. Makes sense. After all, what does America need now more than a rah-rah action film that involves not one ounce of thinking? Owen's Navy pilot gets shot down during the war in Bosnia after taking photographs of some mass graves. The admiral (Gene Hackman) of his ship can't go get him because NATO won't let him risk the fragile peace process. Thus, Wilson must run across the countryside evading one of the psycho Serbs trying to kill him.

It's not really a surprise that a movie like this should come out now. This whole Christian/Muslim, Serb/Croat conflict has been going on since time immemorial and all director John Moore can focus on is one American pilot who stumbles into it. There's no explanation of the conflict's historical roots or widespread humanitarian cost -- all the audience needs to know is that there's an American pilot running around, and that's reason enough to care about the place. Never mind the centuries of Serb and Croat suffering - THERE'S AN AMERICAN PILOT TRAPPED IN A COUNTRY WHERE THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE STARBUCKS!

My guess about rushing the movie into release comes from the political climate and the fact that some of Gene Hackman's scenes look like outtakes. Seriously, he's stuttering at the end of his lines like he's trying to work a piece of celery out from between his teeth. Either that, or he got fixated on Owen Wilson's crooked breathing hole.

To spread the word about this Behind Enemy Lines review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.

Like This Behind Enemy Lines Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • I just -- I'm sorry -- but I just cannot get over that 45-degree angle in Owen Wilson's nose.

  • "How eccentric can we be?" This seems to be the question motivating director Wes ("Rushmore") Anderson and writer/actor Owen Wilson.

  • I was ready to hate this film before I even saw it. First of all, I'm sick of feature films based on old television shows.