11/29/07: This is a ridiculous poll.

so here are my ridiculous answers.

> #1. If a guy sucks his own dick, would that be considered a gay act. Technically, if anyone ever asked that guy if he's ever sucked dick, he would have to say yes.

He wouldn't say anything, as his neck and/or spine would be broken. Duy.

> #2. If Bush admitted he lied to everyone about the motives of the war, what would most likely happen?

Depends... is American Idol on?

> #3. You just discovered a large quantity of gold in your backyard, what now?

Woah, I have a backyard??

> #4. You just realized you're colorblind, hpw did you know the difference between red and green all these years?

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

> #5. You're masturbating. You're about to finish when there is a knock on the door, what do you do next?

Aim for the door and shout "Who wants dessert!"

> #6. You're at the office. You have a buch of christmas cards you recieved on the bulletin board at work, behind your desk. One of the cards is from a person you have had an affair with, and the card reveals as such when read. Your significant other is in the office, and she's presently reading the cards, she's intent on reading all of them now. What do you do between now and the time she gets to that card?

Slip out quietly, go down to the park, buy an illegal handgun, and blow my stupid-ass brains out because I'm clearly too stupid to live. Seriously, who in the hell has an affair with someone who works with his wife, especially if he also works there?

> #7. If your boss came on to you, and you were interested, but knew that the relationship would never amount to anything, would you do it?

Dude, free sex with no repercussions except possible favoritism in the workplace? What's the downside here?

> #8. You just walked in the door at work, and realized you've forgotten to wear clothes, everyone else has also realized this, what now?

[Let] me take this opportunity of answering a question that has often been asked me, how to pronounce "slithy toves." The "i" in "slithy" is long, as in "writhe"; and "toves" is pronounced so as to rhyme with "groves." Again, the first "o" in "borogoves" is pronounced like the "o" in "borrow." I have heard people try to give it the sound of the "o" in "worry." Such is Human Perversity.

> #9. You got drugged by someone, they must've slipped you a mickey. You passed out, and when you awoke, you were on the side of a street in a foriegnm country where the signs are in oriental writing, and you can't even begin to figure out what they say. Nobody speaks any english anywhere. What do you do.

Grab the nearest person and shout "ching ching chong chong" at them in a progressively louder manner, until they understand.

> #10. You're handing out lollypops and ass-kickings, but now you've run out of lollypops.

Guess I'll have to get more lollipops.

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