Beyond the Mat

Bomb Rating: 

If you're interested in learning about wrestling, you're an idiot. If you believe that wrestling isn't staged, you're an idiot. If you've ever attended a wrestling event, you're an idiot. And if you're one of these idiots who lets your idiot children watch this stuff on television, you should be sterilized.

Although the feature film industry certainly contains more than its share of morons, the world of documentary film always gives one the impression that any idiot with access to a camera and enough free time on his hands can make a movie.

Director Barry Blaustein isn't just any idiot, but an idiot par excellence who's written for "Saturday Night Live" as well as both "Nutty Professor" films. Furthermore, he appears to be friends with Brian Grazer and Ron Howard, because they are two of the producers. With all that supposed talent, Blaustein has gone out and made what appears like a hundred-dollar film, which promises to take us inside the world of professional wrestling.

I'm using the word "idiot" fairly liberally here because if you're interested in learning about wrestling, you're an idiot. If you believe that wrestling isn't staged, you're an idiot. If you've ever attended a wrestling event, you're an idiot. And if you're one of these idiots who lets your idiot children watch this stuff on television, you should be sterilized. I always laugh at politicians who try to argue that the general public has some sort of intelligence. One look at the NY Times bestseller list proves that's untrue. Two of the top five non-fiction bestsellers are by Mick Foley and The Rock. Literature at its finest.

There's so little that's original in this film that you actually begin to feel sympathy for WWF president Vince McMahon, who has apparently tried to bury this film. After all, Blaustein is just banking on McMahon's idiot fans to buy tickets to his stupid documentary. They're not likely to notice that the movie is a stylistic rip-off of Michael Moore's "Roger and Me." Blaustein even sounds like Moore. Blaustein digs about as deep as he figures wrestling fans will be able to bear, which amounts to showing some of the wrestlers wearing normal clothes and talking to their children.

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