The Big Bounce

Bomb Rating: 

I just -- I'm sorry -- but I just cannot get over that 45-degree angle in Owen Wilson's nose. Following the bend in his nose is like driving west on I-80 just past Lincoln, Nebraska, then discovering somebody is working on the road and being forced to take a detour through South America.

Wilson's nose proves to be an apt metaphor for this film, which is based on an Elmore Leonard novel. Everything in the film is a wrong turn. This is because there's no substance to the story, so director George Armitage is forced to continually distract the audience from the fact that the entire movie is pointless.

The first distraction is Nancy (Sara Foster). Small-time crook Jack Ryan (Wilson) starts ogling her after getting fired from his Hawaiian construction job. She wants him to help her rob Ray Ritchie (Gary Sinise), who's trying to build a new hotel on the island. While the audience watches Nancy jiggle, it's further distracted by a parade of self-indulgent cameos: Morgan Freeman as a judge, Vinnie Jones as an injured construction foreman, Bebe Neuwirth as a long-suffering wife, and a game of dominoes involving Wilson, Freeman, Willie Nelson and Harry Dean Stanton. There no reason to have Nelson and Stanton in a film other than to call attention to the fact that they're not dead.
The movie thinks its big question is: "Who's scamming whom?" After 90 minutes of watching actors vamp for cameos like peacocks parading during mating season, this scam's victim is clear: the audience.

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