Responses to this message:
The origins of Valentine's Day are uncertain. Many experts believe that it originated back in the days when Rome was under the rule of the stupid emperor Claudius II. In the 200s C. E., Claudius became frustrated when he had trouble recruiting soldiers into his army. Believing that the young men did not want to leave their wives and children, Claudius banned all marriages of single young men. However, a priest named Valentine disobeyed Claudius and performed secret marriages. Claudius found out about the marriages and sentenced Valentine to prison until his death on February 14, 270 C.E. So, people stopped getting married and having babies. Of course, soon, the army was made up of nothing but old men. Claudius was upset by this because there were now no young men around to join the Army. This is when he decided his empire would become a pacifist nation. And, this plan seemed to work for a while... until a bigger badder nation decided they'd try to invade and conquer Claudius' peacful, tree-hugging kingdom. Claudius' men tried to fight but his best generals proved to be of no use now. They couldn't even control their own bladders let alone a hole army. They did eventually win the war though. The big bad invaders realized how weak and pathetic these people were. Figuring Claudius' kingdom would just naturally die out, the opposing army found it to be no challenge and left. They felt it would be demeaning if they kicked these old people's butts. They'd never be able to face their fellow warlords again. But, Claudius' people did not die out. No, he didn't decide to allow marriage. He still felt that was a bad idea... but he did establish the world's first sperm bank, and his daughter, Murphy Brown was the first single mother in history... the Virgin Mary doesn't count since she was married to Joseph when she gave birth to Jesus. And, that my friends is why we celebrate Valentine's Day. To commemorate the world's first sperm bank!
Responses to this message:
Post a response to this discussion thread