Big Momma's House 2

Bomb Rating: 

Sometimes a movie's mediocrity so overwhelms you that you can't think straight and you essentially leave the theater having blocked whole thing out.

Among other things, "Big Momma's House 2" should confirm to anybody who ever dreamt of being a screenwriter that such a dream is impossible unless one knows someone or one happens to be particularly adept at administering oral sex to movie executives. Another reaction to realizing what's really on the pages of this script could certainly be: "Hell, I could write that!" However, that's precisely the problem. If producers gave a crap about scriptwriting, this film would never have been made. The point? They don't care about screenwriting. It simply doesn't matter. The anonymous, unconnected screenwriter has about as much chance of seeing one of his or her scripts getting made into a film as winning the Powerball.

What defines a bad script? Well, lots of things, but when Malcolm Turner (Martin Lawrence) as Big Momma has to constantly and unrelentingly explain the plot and the purpose of everything she does, it's clear that the filmmakers have no idea what "on the nose" means and no respect for their audience.

Admittedly, I should have specific examples, but sometimes a movie's mediocrity so overwhelms you that you can't think straight and you essentially leave the theater having blocked whole thing out. It also didn't help that I left my notebook and pen in the forehead of some yahoo coming out of "Annapolis" screaming about how awesome it was.

"Big Momma's House 2" is a near-perfect rip-off of "Mrs. Doubtfire." Malcolm goes undercover at the Fullers' to spy on Tom Fuller (Mark Moses), who may be creating a worm to infiltrate the government's computer systems. Big Momma brings a freshness and warmth to the household and teaches everyone about love and understanding while solving the crime. Little Kevin jumps off things and won't talk. So by the end, he's not jumping off things and his first words are "Big Momma." Carrie's (Chloe Moretz) cheerleading squad can't come up with a routine, so Big Momma teaches them how to dance. Molly (Kat Dennings) is the black sheep. Big Momma teaches her about life and turns her into a good girl.

From what I can tell, the filmmakers gave Lawrence some kind of medication because he's hardly slurring his words at all. Big Momma does resemble a slot machine addict after one too many free drinks, but that's essentially Lawrence on a good day.

"Big Momma's House 2" could use an extreme makeover.

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