You might not know it and Michael Moore might not know it, but the chubby Wolverine is a flaming Marxist.

To put it into proper terminology, Moore runs around the country claiming that capitalism's "carrot and stick" approach is all stick and no carrot, that the stick is about ten feet long, and that it's being rammed up the proletariat's ass as if capitalism were an epileptic with a jack-hammer. It then follows that Moore has titled his film "The Big One" because penis metaphors and working-class exploitation go together like Linda Tripp and warthog jokes. The large phallic microphone Moore holds on the cover of his film's press notes serves as the dead giveaway.

Phil Knight, whom Moore interviews at film's end, may likely be the "biggest one," employing 12-year-old Indonesian girls in his Nike shoe factories. He tries to bond with Moore at the end of the film and ends up sticking a goodly number of his shoes right in his kisser. In the end, however, he only proves that intelligence is not an important requirement for rich, successful CEOs.

As for Moore and his mission to empower the working class, it all seems a bit suspicious given that he's raking in loads of money from his various endeavors and that this film was made while promoting his bestselling book, "Downsize This!" At least if all his Marxist aspirations don't work out, Moore will have the cash from all his residuals to dry his tears.