The Big Squeeze

Bomb Rating: 

Welcome to film noir light. It has half the taste ofregular film noir and a story that's about a tenth as filling. When you walk out of the theater after film noir light you'll be unencumbered by wonder, inspiration or insight. There will be nothing to discuss: no complicated story, no complicated characters, no complicated plot twists. Welcome to "The Big Squeeze."

The filmmakers should count themselves lucky if critics describing this movie restrict themselves to adjectives like "boring" and "stupid." Why writer/director Marcus De Leon decided to take this project from "bad film idea" to actual "film" is a conundrum worthy of "Unsolved Mysteries." First of all, the hustle isn't even interesting. Shyster Benny Omalley (Peter Dobson) teams with unfulfilled waitress, Tanya (Lara Flynn Boyle), to trick Tanya's husband, Henry (Luca Bercovici), out of the $130,000 he received as an insurance settlement for a damaged knee that ended his promising baseball career.

De Leon's lobotomized sting involves Omalley planting a seed at a mission, then going back each night and installing a bigger plant to convince the parishioners and Henry that the tree is blessed. In no time every Catholic in the neighborhood is coming to touch the tree. Why Benny didn't just farmer-blow onto the sidewalk and claim it looked like the Virgin Mary is anybody's guess. It would have saved him a lot of time because Catholics would have been crawling out from under rocks to catch a glimpse and Henry would have coughed up the money a lot faster.

To spread the word about this The Big Squeeze review on Twitter.

To get instant updates of Mr. Cranky reviews, subscribe to our RSS feed.

Like This The Big Squeeze Review? Vote it Up.


Rate This Movie:

Other Cranky Content You Might Enjoy

  • While I sure hope that when I'm fifty or sixty years old, women like Lara Flynn Boyle will be just dying to have sex with me, let's face it: These trans-generational screwing sequences ought to be a l

  • People don't cough in movies, so when Sarah Miles (Julianne Moore) coughs in writer/director Neil Jordan's tale of love, sex, and jealousy in World War II London, one of two bad things is going to hap

  • As far as I know, the title of this film refers to the French detective agency, the equivalent of Scotland Yard.