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1. gets horny when playing Tomb Raider
I have never played Tomb Raider.
I have played Star Raiders on the Atari 2600, but it never made me horny.
2. is a 35 year old virgin and madly in love with Britainy Spears.
I am a 29 year old virgin who has no opinion of Britainy Spears. I think she's a singer who gets played on top 40 radio stations.
3. is a fat ass that lies about there looks in chat rooms.
I am not fat. I have never lied about my looks. I have never been in a chat room.
4. is mad because they cancled Home Improvement
I have only seen that show a few times, and I thought that it was an OK show. Nothing special.
5. gets mad at Mr. Cranky`s reviews. (What? Do think he`s going to give a good review?)
I like his reviews!
6. sneaks and look up teen porn.
I have looked at some adult porn on the web. I view this as being educational, as I am a 29 year old man who has never seen a naked woman in real life. So I have looked at porn just to see what the female anatomy looks like.
7. says the word "fart" and laugh
I have said the word fart, and I have laughed, but I have never done both of these things at the same time.
8. is a P.E. teacher
No.
9. knows everything else about Boogie Nights except the plot.
I have never seen that movie.
10. never misses the Rosie O`Donald Show
I have seen that show about 4 times ever.
11. laughs with his beer buddies when they see a guy get hit in the crotch in a movie.
I hate beer. Whenever I see a guy get hit in his crotch I feel bad for him.
12. knows what the word cum is, but not sperm.
I know what both words mean. I don't usually use the word cum, although I have used that word a few times. I usually use the words ejaculate (for the verb form of cum) and semen (for he noun form of cum).
13. staired at a Farside cartoon for five minutes and gave up.
I usaully get them right away. I think there was one one time that I didn't get.
14. gets nervous when someone asks you a question with a big word in it.
No.
15. watches Mad T.V.
I have watched it about 2 times ever.
16. thinks its a crime to wear fur coats
No. It is not a crime. I am a vegetarian, but if somebody else wants to wear a fur coat, then they can go ahead.
17. gets all your insults from the Drew Carey show
No. He's a Libertarian, by the way. On one episode he wore a t-shirt with the logo for REASON magazine. In his autogiography, which I have read, he said that he wore the t-shirt as a way of saying "fuck you" to the 99% of the population who wouldn't know what it was.
18. looks up animal porn
No. But one time on PBS they showed two pigs having sex. The male pig's penis looks like a corkscrew.
19. considers Elton John a legend
No.
20. has ever been caught jacking off by there parents.
No.
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