I almost don't know what to say about this weird-ass film.

I guess writer/director Craig Brewer has taken it upon himself to bring a sense of humanity to the wretched of the earth. In "Hustle & Flow" he humanized pimps. Here, he humanizes nymphomaniacs.

Basically, the story is about a black man who finds a white girl lying on the side of the road, so he picks her up, takes her inside his house and chains her to the radiator. I dare you to pitch that movie plot to any executive in Hollywood. Not only will you be thrown out on your ear, you'll probably be arrested.

Lazarus (Samuel L. Jackson) figures out that Rae (Christina Ricci) will basically fuck anything that moves and has. Her latest sexual rampage resulted from the departure of her boyfriend, Ronnie (Justin Timberlake), who's on his way to Iraq. Lazarus, having just recently been cheated on and dumped by his wife, decides to save Rae from herself.

This is one of those films that is receiving a lot of positive reviews, not because it's a good movie, but because people are just completely amazed that the story wraps up in a way that doesn't cause some kind of riot in the theater. However, if you get right down to it, it's not like the concepts in the movie are any great thing; it's just that the characters are completely bizarre.

Lazarus teaches Rae to respect herself. In so doing, Lazarus saves himself and allows Rae to help others. Now, if I'm not mistaken, Disney has done several dozen live action films involving talking animals utilizing exactly the same plot. It's just that they haven't ever put together the combination of a blues man and a nympho before. I'd dare say that if you take virtually any common plot and replace the two main characters with a blues man and a nympho, people, especially critics, will be befuddled into adulation.

And not that it's consistent with the general theme of this review or anything, but I also spent the entire film trying to figure out who the actress was playing Rae's mom. Turns out it's Kim frickin' Richards from "Escape from Witch Mountain." I think Kim Richards was the first girl who ever caused me to think about sex. Talk about taking what amounts to an acid trip back to the good old days.

At some point, Lazarus explains what the title means, but I think I was probably so completely overwhelmed by all the goofball stuff in the movie, I forgot what it was.