Blade 2

Bomb Rating: 

You'd swear Frank Oz is going to pop up from behind a curtain and pull his arm out of Kristofferson's withered rear end.

If Wesley Snipes is such a tough guy, why does he need all those special effects to help him with his martial arts? Okay, I realize Snipes probably can't do a triple back flip and leap fifty feet across a room, and that his insurance carrier probably won't let him wipe his own ass for fear of a freak injury, but I thought this guy was some sort of actual martial artist.

"Blade 2" is the follow-up to "Blade" in which we were introduced to the comic book hero who is a good vampire known as the "Day Walker." He represses the thirst for blood by taking drugs and along with his partner, Whistler (Kris Kristofferson), battles evil vampires. In "Blade 2," Blade (Snipes) joins with his vampire enemies to hunt down and kill a new breed of vampires led by Nomak (Luke Goss) who kill not only humans, but vampires as well.

This movie marks a new evolution in Kris Kristofferson's career as he is now actually being played by a muppet. Seriously, take a look at the guy -- he's so wrinkled and weird-looking you'd swear Frank Oz is going to pop up from behind a curtain and pull his arm out of Kristofferson's withered rear end.

During the course of this mutant vampire hunt, Blade starts falling for Nyssa (Leonor Varela), one of the specially-trained vamps sent along to help him. Their interactions provide some of the most painful of the movie as both of the actors take time out from running around to actually try their hand at acting, which they suck at. Director Guillermo Del Toro mistakenly turns serious for a moment in an attempt to convey actual feeling, instead of sticking to the blood-splattering he was hired to enable.

If this movie gives us anything to look forward to, it's that in "Blade 3", Snipes will probably finally be replaced by a computer-generated character altogether. At that point, expect Blade's emotional range to improve considerably.

To spread the word about this Blade 2 review on Twitter.