Bound

Bomb Rating: 

Apparently, after Hollywood witnessed Gina admiring Elizabeth Berkley's breasts in "Showgirls," they convinced themselves that Gina must actually be a lesbian and had to be cast in every juicy lesbian role that comes out of Hollywood.

Holy Kentucky Fried Chicken! I think Gina Gershon has been typecast.

Apparently, after Hollywood witnessed Gina admiring Elizabeth Berkley's breasts in "Showgirls," they convinced themselves that Gina must actually be a lesbian and had to be cast in every juicy lesbian role that comes out of Hollywood in the next few years so that gay rights activists would shut their yaps. So now Gina is cast as - you guessed it - a lesbian in this lesbian film noir directed by the Wachowski brothers, whose names you wouldn't recognize because they've never directed a film before.

As we all know, women who have close relationships (or want to have close relationships) with other women must be lesbians, so when Violet (Jennifer Tilly) sees Corky (Gershon) in their condominium lobby it's "give me everything my husband can't give me" time and sooner than you can say Colonel Sanders, they're plotting a way to screw over Violet's husband, Caesar (Joe Pantoliano), because, well, that's what lesbians do when they a get to thinkin'.

But Caesar is a money-launderer for the mob, so it becomes a lot easier to take the lesbians side in the whole fiasco - which does become a fiasco because the Wachowski brothers show you Corky all tied up in the closet at the beginning of the film. However, there's something to be said for binding Corky in the closet. She's got this Elvis lip thing going on that's really annoying. And speaking of annoying, is Jennifer Tilly for real or does she carry around a helium tank in her purse?

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