The Break Up Caption Contest : Mr. Cranky Rates the Movies : The Break Up Caption Contest

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The Break Up Caption Contest

Winner: Goldfish_In_The_Toilet

"Okay, forget the divorce. We can make a buttload just suing Eharmony."

Get credit for the funniest caption!
New Photos on Friday. Winners posted on Wednesday
Winner's Page

Post a caption entry in the forum below

Captions:

Wow...I knew Mr C agreed with my opinion.... Goldfish In The Toilet
- Congrats...wish Cranky would do Honorable Mentions. foxjedi
- Re: Honorabl Mentions nickumoh
Congrats, Goldfish!!! scarlet_ohara
- Re: Congrats, Goldfish!!! Goldfish In The Toilet
Bunnyboiling for beginners JELLYFISH
Just a heads up, I think the neighbors realise their cat is missing scarlet_ohara
Thanks for the fisting but can I have my ringpiece back now, it's wrapped JELLYFISH
- around your wrist!!! JELLYFISH
Jolie, Jolie, Jolie, Jolieeeee, I'm beggin' ya please don't take my man! JELLYFISH
- nice. ben243243
- Thanks ben243243, I hope the other 243242 bens' are ok. JELLYFISH
"Lets not let small things like household appliances come between us." Cannon_Fodder
"This isn't the kitchen appliance you're looking for." Cannon_Fodder
(caption) rainman76x
"Nice muffins" Scumby
I swear to God, I took apart your Echo with one hand tied behind my back. Goldfish In The Toilet
All I hear is 'yap-yap-yap I'm a stupid b-itch yap-yap-yap'. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
No no no baby...this is not how you 'cook' up meth. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
Ozzy and Sharon, circa 1986 nickumoh
The Honeymooners: The Next Generation Scumby
caption quibix
The Freeze Ray pointed at her mouth was the only way he get a word in edgew CrazyEddy
baby you cooking is as bad as our acting and choice of roles whysoitenley
baby you cooking is as bad as our acting and choice of roles whysoitenley
honey, your cooking sucks like our choices in picking movies whysoitenley
Honey, there's someone else. This is Handi. We're getting married. ben243243
"Go, Go Gadget Bitch-Slap!" ben243243
- ^HA!! That's the winner! Mr_Nonsense
Wait. Stop. No audience will take this argument seriously because first... ben243243
- ...they have to buy the two of us in a previously existing relationship... ben243243
- ...oh, who am I kidding, let's shoot the scene. This will still open at #1. ben243243
"Honey, you know I like your kinky side, but..." Mr_Nonsense
- "...who's the guy tied to the chair in the basement?" Mr_Nonsense
Vince: "No, you're NOT my mother. She actually knows how to cook." Mr_Nonsense
"I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti, phhhhh" JELLYFISH
"I swear, if you do that "Pac Man boob grab" thing again...." rainman76x
Talk to the hand, Cuisinart. michael3b
Vince: I want to do a Role Play where you pretend to be Martha Stewart Elwood83
Vince: It's not how it looks, darling I was NOT pleasuring myself with the Elwood83
"Look, I don't want any more arguments -- I already lost one arm to you. die maus
I hear your daddy spoiled it for all us men. Junk_Yard_Dog
"Tom Arnold's going to be my body double for the nude scenes. Lost a bet." Scumby
"The Good Girl II": Tina wins the lotto but the marriage still sucks. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
Oh so you are leaving? Fine then...meet the 'Other Woman'. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
I swear, I never inhaled! <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
"Hey I'm writing a movie called 'The Break-up', and I, uh, thought of you" Scumby
"Let me tell you what life is about, according to this guy Mr. Cranky..." Scumby
"Listen, you were 10x better than Angelina in the sack..." Scumby
Wronged and Wronger. Scumby
Vaughn summarizes his member size and talent in a single hand gesture. Scumby
- Gosh, diddly, darn it! nickumoh
Vaughn denies pimping Jolie to Pitt on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Scumby
OK "Skank, you ruined my life!" was a slip. I meant "pass the croutons." foxjedi
The morning after, Vince vehimately denies shouting Owens name during sex. nickumoh
- Hilarious! NoDeltaH2O
- Terrell Owens? Scumby
- Drew Rosenthal nickumoh
Good captions thus far. Mr_Nonsense
- Thanks, this one is hard to write a bad caption about... Goldfish In The Toilet
- Contest is over, "Gadget Bitch slap" wins. Mr_Nonsense
I'd Like to get my hands on your cupcakes SPARGS
Be back at 5. I'm just going bowling; not on some African safari. gumby
Jennifer turns to cooking after getting a bowler on the rebound. gumby
"Vince used his mutant power to freeze time to avoid most arguments." Mr_Nonsense
"I'm just saying where I come from, we change the roll when its empty." Mr_Nonsense
Dr. Tittleman would demonstrate his breast exam technique at odd times. Scumby
"Vince, when I said u should eat more fruit I didn't mean chocolate orange! JELLYFISH
Caption bozotheclown
For the last time, it's either ME, or the vibrating attachment NoDeltaH2O
For the last time, I wanna get beat off by you, not by your Kitche-Aid. NoDeltaH2O
- Re: For the last time, I wanna get beat off by you, not by your Kitche-Aid. NoDeltaH2O
The Cooking Adventures of Space Emeril npacknabar
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again aaa123
"That's five Big Macs for the price of four. I mean, could ... Shrinkyballs McAngrypants
- Brad Pitt get you deals like that?" Shrinkyballs McAngrypants
"Well Vince, you're the fattest damn Vulcan I've ever seen." Cannon_Fodder
"I'll part your red C with one hand, baby." Cannon_Fodder
"You did what with my pet rabbit!?" Cannon_Fodder
Saving 'Friends' and 'King of Queens' episodes on TIVO gets bad results. Goldfish In The Toilet
JEN: ...AND I've been doing the KitchenAid food processor! VINCE: Well DUH! Goldfish In The Toilet
This is your vagina, and this is your vagina on Hollywood! <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
No really Jen, I don't work at Sonic...it's for a commercial shoot! <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
Proof that 'talk to the hand' only works for uppity black women and gay men Goldfish In The Toilet
Implying the shirt makes me look gay and calling me gay ARE the same thing! Goldfish In The Toilet
I'm going to the Halloween party as 'Larry The Cable Guy' and that is that! Goldfish In The Toilet
Okay, forget the divorce. We can make a buttload just suing Eharmony. <NT> Goldfish In The Toilet
"You may have played 'Rachel', but in the kitchen you're no Rachael Ray." MR_MUCUS
I'm just saying, if yours were THIS big... dont worry
Look you're the one to conservative to hire an illegal to cook Form-VII
My pimp hand is strong... Form-VII
Look, don't be mad at me because society says it is okay for me to fat Form-VII
Five, count five movies and not one hit. Can you say Friends reunion? Form-VII
Vince's ear-muffs evolved to the bra cup... Form-VII
"Vince never could get the Vulcan hand gesture right." MR_MUCUS
Vince, I'm leaving for Angelina. You can have the apartment Form-VII
Nag, nag, nag...now I see why Brad left your ass Form-VII
"5 bucks says you don't even know how to work the mixer" Form-VII
"Thanks dear, I'd love an omlette right now." Cannon_Fodder
(caption) rainman76x
"You are so not Clark Gable!" rainman76x
"And so he spent the next 2 hours trying to explain the plot of 'Syriana'." MR_MUCUS
Vince knew the old school thing swingers did during a break-up was be cool. MR_MUCUS
- good one nickumoh
VINCE: Have you seen my bowling ball? TMundo
- JEN: Maybe it's in your stomach. TMundo
My fingers could fit in your hindquarters much like a bowling ball. TMundo
"Excuse Me, my name is Vince Vaughn not Chris Farley!!!" katgirl1
Now get ready for the old Vaughn Anus Stun MAYORBOB
It hasn't been your day week month or even your year. But I'll be there 4 U nickumoh
Look, I met you at the wedding, but that's all I do every summer. TMundo
Dude, Chandler looks OLD. Dano
Jennifer resented having to speak to Vince through his hand puppet. Scumby
- 'Zat a Southpark reference? TMundo
- Nope, just trying to make something of this weak photo. Scumby
"How many times do I have to tell you: Let Monica do the cooking!" die maus
Norman Bates tries to explain why his wife shouldn't meet her mother in-law Parca_Mortem
"YOU are carrying the Lord's child?" Parca_Mortem
I think eight servings of Matt a la LeBlanque Sauce is enough. Parca_Mortem
There ain't no way. Real men don't do Quiche. Junk_Yard_Dog
Hey, babe, haven't you heard of the Man Law: You poke it, you own it. Junk_Yard_Dog
The way through a man's heart is through his stomach, so you can't miss. JPBuckner
Jennifer IS Julia Child in 'The Eggs Break-Up' JPBuckner
- MST3K fan? foxjedi
- Darn right! I want to decide who lives and who dies. JPBuckner
- I know Crow T Robot, and you aren't him gamerarocks
- You will accept what we tell you to think at face value with no back talk! foxjedi
- Yeah, I've kind of noticed that gamerarocks
What do you mean, the mixers always stuck in second gear. JPBuckner
Look, I'll pretend to be Brad Pitt, but I draw the line at David Schwimmer. JPBuckner
"Look, it's very simple. You're required to wear at LEAST 20 pieces of fiddelysquat
- flair on your apron." fiddelysquat
"Don't get mad at me. Sharon was flashing everybody." Mr_Nonsense
The bowling team wants you to sever the beer topless, that ok? Yamato
- The bowling team wants you to serve the beer topless, that ok? Yamato
"Hey I did not eat your cat." sonofthedummy
Artichoke? Bruchetta? I ain't eatin' that pansy-assed shit! TMundo
Vaughn Caption HowdyBob
"Wadayamean I look like Jeremy Beadle only fatter! JELLYFISH
"I'm not a bigger dweeb then Schwimmer, am I?" M_H
Enough of this Jamie oliver shite, let's play hide the chipolatta! JELLYFISH
The Cuisinart looked on, depressed, at yet another spat. michael3b
Dinner was great until you brought out the fake butter. 'They won't believe foxjedi
- it's not butter' my pasty white butt. foxjedi
I think my glove puppet just dropped into the blender! JELLYFISH
Vince's audition for the new Batwoman leaves Jen speechless gamerarocks
90210 east meets unfunny 'everyman' gamerarocks
"Look on the bright side,..." MR_MUCUS
- "... at least you didn't have to deliver Brad's baby by c-section." MR_MUCUS
The first rule about Brad is that you do not talk about Brad nickumoh
Bowling vs. Pastry Lessons. When worlds collide! foxjedi
If your chest came up to here, you'd be the perfect height. All I'm sayin'. foxjedi
I'm sorry you mistook me for Emeril Legasse, but I can't cook for shit. ben243243
"There's a reason you have shirt with your name on it." ben243243
I don't want to be known in the press as Vincifer! ben243243
"Listen, I know I'm no Clark Gable, but you're no Vivien Leigh either." ben243243
You're making penis-stuffed artichoke? So THAT's what you did with it! I_Hate_Movies
Time for another round of unfunny captions: TMundo
- "Hi!" TMundo
- "Bowling for Artichoke," was an instant success. TMundo
- Look at my manicure! TMundo
- Look, uhhh...I don't know how to cook so I'll just watch from here. TMundo
- "You know, sometimes I wish I hadn't made it off that dinosaur island." Mr_Nonsense
- "Stop telling the tabloids we like to be called 'Vinnefer'." Mr_Nonsense
- "There's a leprechaun at the front door, says he wants his gold." Mr_Nonsense
- "Five? Wrong. Trick question. It's four fingers and one thumb." Mr_Nonsense
- "The audience laughs...politely." Mr_Nonsense
- "Dammit, I told you take away Harrison's keys." Mr_Nonsense
- Vince: "My friend says he saw you at the stadium with Matthew McConaughey." Mr_Nonsense
- "Baby, it's time to put the Senator Kennedy incident behind you." Mr_Nonsense
- "I was over at Larry's; he's a got an aquarium you can fish in." Mr_Nonsense
- "Hey, you were the one who insisted on buying that damned Toyota Echo." Mr_Nonsense
- "Okay, okay, no Old School 2." Mr_Nonsense
- I got a peak at Schneider & his new lady friend. She's got him in diapers! Mr_Nonsense
Look I am hotter then you deserve so you ARE doing the dishes. CNYSkinFan
- Good one. foxjedi
The Wife and her Lover (Vaughn & Anniston) await the arrival of CNYSkinFan
- the Cook and the Thief (Pitt and Jolie). CNYSkinFan
Hon, tonight Brad....LEY and I are going to a strip....MALL ok? ben243243
Look, I was ALWAYS allowed to lick the mixer in MY house! TMundo
There is no invisible wall in here! ben243243
Swingers 2: Settling Down TMundo
You promise you won't turn it on with my hand in there? ben243243
Using the force to cop a feel. TMundo
In the modern update of the Flinstone's, Fred was still a fat idiot. ben243243
Jen just didn't go for the ol' cook me dinner and do my dishes date. TMundo
What is it with you and dodgeball? ben243243
Who's this Ennis friend of yours who keep calling? ben243243
Just one last feel for old time's sake? I heard Brad got one... ben243243
Vince's new version of "Talk to the Hand" where the hand actually talks. ben243243
You will NOT do your mime impression tonight! ben243243
Vince explains why women aren't allowed in his "Bowling League." ben243243
Just stop, Hon. I'm sick of hearing stories about your New York "friends." Coaster
"Hi!" TMundo
The Food Channel's new show, "Cooking with X's," was quite popular. TMundo
If I could Just get 'em a little bigger like how Jim Carrey did it. TMundo
Naturally, Vince had difficulty copping a feel from 5 feet away. TMundo
Hey... "Psycho? I needed the money, alright?" Junkyard_Kid
"Just because I can't find my penis over my fat stomach... vectorzero
- ...It doesn't mean it isn't there." vectorzero
Though he felt it understandable that he'd want to look like Jennifer ... dlew919
- Aniston, he couldn't understand why she'd pick Vince Vaughn dlew919
Hey I had nothing to do with the second half of Wedding Crashers... Scumby
Hey bitch, I like wearing bowling shirts okay! So lay off! Rajah
...at that moment, Jen contemplated "co-starring" with Willem Dafoe. rainman76x
"I swear, I meant nothing by that 'Angelina's a better actress' comment." rainman76x
The Break-up 2: Whisk Addiction Cannon_Fodder
"Sorry, but Owen Wilson IS prettier than you." Cannon_Fodder
"Behold the robo-whisk!" Cannon_Fodder
"I'm going to whisk you away, baby." Cannon_Fodder
"What is it the egg whisk can do for you that I can't?" Cannon_Fodder
"Jen, I just ate a triple Whopper with cheese and bacon that was this big!" rainman76x
"I'm just sayin', give 'Vin-Jen' a shot....it'll grow on you." rainman76x
Vince: "Would you do me for a Scooby Snack?" MR_MUCUS
"Hey, all I said was Brad and Angelina were fun to work with." MR_MUCUS
"The Jedi Mind Trick worked. Aniston was his, but for how long?" MR_MUCUS
- Damn, sorry, Rainman. MR_MUCUS
- (No problem, that was an obvious one) rainman76x
- Mucus's was funnier though... Form-VII
"Honey, I'm just saying my job at McDonald's can't support this lifestyle." MR_MUCUS
"I like where your head's at, so give me some." MR_MUCUS
"But that's not, in addition to the mixer, you get 2 free gifts..." MR_MUCUS
- edit: "But that's not all, in addition to the mixer, you get 2 free gifts." MR_MUCUS
Vince "Jedi mind tricks" Jennifer into finding him attractive. rainman76x
"Look, all I'm saying is 'Rumor Has It' was a bit corny." MR_MUCUS
The anti-"Mr. & Mrs. Smith" rainman76x
It quickly became apparent that neither one of them knew how to boil water. rainman76x
"For the last time, stop calling me Chandler!" rainman76x
Aniston and Vaughn pause as they can't think of any funny captions either. Scumby
- winner winner winner winner TMundo

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