Broken Arrow

Bomb Rating: 

I've got news for Woo and all the Hollywood types who are holding his feet to the fire: CHRISTIAN SLATER IS A WEENIE.

John Woo, who made Chow Yun-Fat a star in Hong Kong with movies like "The Killer" and "Hard-Boiled," has come to America and turned over the hero duties to none other than Christian Slater. Well, I've got news for Woo and all the Hollywood types who are holding his feet to the fire: CHRISTIAN SLATER IS A WEENIE. How tall is the guy, like five foot three? As a result, Broken Arrow is a complete joke. Anyone who is thinking of seeing this film should consult a doctor first because they could possibly laugh themselves right into a coma.

After crashing his stealth bomber and realizing Travolta is trying to make off with the nuclear weapons on board, Slater teams up with a female park ranger (Samantha Mathis) and tries to stop him. Slater is no bigger than Mathis and she practically beats the crap out of him anyway. What can Samantha Mathis possibly weigh? 110 pounds? So Slater is five foot three, 130 pounds and we're supposed to believe that he's going to kick the asses of both John Travolta and Howie Long (the 6'5", 270 pound former L.A. Raider)?

Whether he does it with a machine gun or his fists, who really cares? It's simply not believeable. Christ, the next thing you know we'll be seeing Kate Moss ripping Arnold Schwarzenegger's penis off and beating him to death with it in his next big action-hero film.