Can't Hardly Wait

Bomb Rating: 

No matter how deep in the talent toilet you may reside, the hand of Hollywood is always willing to reach in and pull you out.

Is Jennifer Love Hewitt's career goal to be an actress or to testthe elastic limits of the Wonderbra? Hey, don't get me wrong; I'm all for skin on screen, but Hewitt's breasts are pushed so far up into her face that her chin looks like the head pin in some sort of peculiar game of dual flesh bowling -- a definite strike against this movie.

Her character is a central figure in a stupid film that tries to encapsulate every imaginable high school cliché in the framework of a 90-minute graduation party. Anybody who's been out of high school for five minutes is going to have to work hard suppressing that gag reflex.

Hewitt's character, Amanda, has just been dropped by the belching super-jock, Tom Cruise look-a-like, Mike (Peter Facinelli), while half-geek, half cool guy Preston (Ethan Embry) waits for that one chance to introduce himself to Amanda and tell her how he really feels. Joining them for no apparent reason is Preston's friend, Denise (Lauren Ambrose), whose dumpy-but- funny Janeane Garofalo impersonation earns her little more than the attentions of Kenny (Seth Green), the white guy pretending to be a black guy character.

Add to this geeks who sit up on the roof like frightened chickens talking about "Star Trek" and their valedictorian buddy, William (Charlie Korsmo), and the writing/directing team of Deborah Kaplan and Harry Elfont have created the ideal atmosphere for a well-placed explosive device. Having written "A Very Brady Sequel," "Homeward Bound 2" and "Jingle All the Way," Kaplan and Elfont demonstrate that no matter how deep in the talent toilet you may reside, the hand of Hollywood is always willing to reach in and pull you out.

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