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Reality "Bites" (Scroll down for ideas)
If you have been watching the CBS show "Big Brother", you may have noticed one thing: People these days are really, really boring. A dramatized example from a typical Live Edition after nominations for banishment and banishment from the house:
Jamie: Wow, like totally wow. I never would have like expected that.
Brittany: Yah, I mean he was, like so cool. I,like, liked his company so much.
George: (Insipid laugh) Oh, yeah, I know, I mean, totally.
Cassandra: Yeah, he was an integral part of the house and we should all look up to him and.... Blah BLAH BLAHBLAH...blah.
Eddie: (Sarcastically) Fuckin-A, man, dude, fuck. Now who am I going to cuss at. (Explosive laughter from all for one second)(Two second pause)
Jamie: Wow, like totally wow. I never would have like expected that.
Josh: I'm gay. Oops, did I say that out loud. (Explosive laughter from all for one second)(Two second pause)
George: What a kidder, oh gosh, jeez.
Julie Chen interrupts: Hi guys, how ya doin'
They all lie and say: fine.
Julie repeats: So, how are you guys
They all say fine again.
Julie, trying to be cool: So, Chicken George, how ya doin now that Mega is gone.
George was too busy laughing hysterically for no reason that he didn't hear her question, but says: Fine.
Julie says dumb shit for about ten minutes while everyone else thinks about how cool everything was before they banned alchohol.
Julie says good-bye, and the cast does nothing for about five hours, before Eddie starts swearing, and they all go to the men's bedroom to "Cuddle"
Repeat cycle every Wednesday, and every other day without Julie.
Wow, that show really sucks. I have decided to come up with some ideas for my own reality shows. They will be entirely different that the crap that the networks are putting on now.
1. Big Momma
Ten house guests, all thin black women are locked in a house for three months with an unlimited food supply. Every second week, they are weighed. The one who has gained the least weight is kicked out. This continues until only one lady is left, recieving the title of "Big Momma". She recieves a prize of 1million dollars in food coupons.
2. Billy Bob
Put twelve rednecks in a sophisticated, computer activated everything, house for eight weeks. All the food must be ordered online, and no one can order for anyone but themselves. They must earn daily wages by making profits in online investments (stocks) in companies. After eight weeks, if anyone is still alive, they will continue to live in the house until only one redneck is still alive, attaining the title of "Billy Bob" The winner recieves two top of the line huntin' dogs
3. Big Daddy
One fat, womanizing, drunk is placed in a house identical to the "Big Brother" house with nine nuns. Every week, Big Daddy chooses a nun to be his bitch. The nun must do exactly what Big Daddy tells her to do, or she's out. After eight nuns have been Big Daddy's bitch, the ninth nun is declared the winner, and gets to kick Big Daddy in the testicles, and 1 million dollars.
4. Feeding Time
One hundred body builders are separated into ten ten man teams. Every week, one group goes up against a pack of hungry Lions. If any man wins, they get 1 million dollars. At the end of ten weeks, if anyone is still alive, the will try to kill eachother until one man is standing. That man gets the satisfaction of kill another man.
5. Checkout
Twenty People are locked in a supermarket. After a while, the food will rot or be eaten, and they will starve. The last one alive gets 1 million dollars.
6. White Wall
Ten people are placed in a large auditorium in which everything is white. They will have food and beds to sleep in. They will have no entertainment. On the far wall, there are as many doors as contestants, only, one door leads to the outside world. Every week, a game will be played. Depending on how you placed, you get to chose what door you can walk through. It is all luck. There is no way to tell at first sight which door leads where. After you walk up a flight of stairs, there will be another door, leading either outside or another, smaller auditorium. Everyweek, the room gets smaller, as do the number of contestants. Each week you also get another form of entertainment, including a T.V. which broadcasts fake information, such as presidential assassinations and deaths of previous contestants. In the end, the rules change, and the two final contestants will have to walk through a giant maze to the end, where a treasure chest filled with either one million dollars(winner)or dead rats (loser) awaits you.
7. Lockdown
Ten of the most violent Death Row inmates or are locked in a slighty altered "Big Brother" house. The Red Room will become the Death Room, and the pool will become an acid pit. Every week, two inmates are marked for death. They must fight until one of them is unconscious, but not dead. The loser will then wait a week until they must go to the Death Room to recieve an ultimatum: Immediate Execution, or throwing themselves into the acid pit in five days. Five sxtra days of life, and then death by acid. Is it worth it? When one person is left, they get to have their prison sentence downgraded to life without parole.
8. The Jerry Flinger Show
Ten neighboring families who hate each other are put on a T.V. Show where they can yell at each other until the audience picks the most annoying one to be flung off the roof of the studio in a catapult. This continues until one family is left, and they get their neighbor's trailers.
9. Who's yo daddy
One woman and nine men are in a house together for nine months. Each man has sex with the woman every day until she is pregnant. The woman chooses one man every month who she thinks is not the father. If she eliminates the father, gets custody of the child when they are out of the house, but if she keeps eliminating non-fathers, and eventually guesses correctly, she gets one million dollars and custody of the child.
10. Big Sister
Exactly like Big Brother, only Big Sisters are mean. Same house, same people. The Twist: Cold showers. The camera crew's leftovers for food. No lawn outside, just dirt. Elevator mu
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