Center Stage

Bomb Rating: 

What the hell is it with the dancing?

Did there have to be so much dancing in this film? I mean, for Christ's sake, it's just dancing, dancing, dancing. It's one dance number after another. Not that I read the personals, but if you look in there, it's like every other woman looking for love is into movies, hiking, animals and DANCING. What the hell is it with the dancing? I can tell you that any man who says he enjoys dancing is either gay, coked up, or mentally unstable. Regular men abhor dancing like they abhor prostate exams and letting their wives drive.

Ever notice that women dancers typically have really small breasts? That's because women who have reasonable-sized breasts find out that after a few years of dancing, they wake up one morning and discover their breasts have fled to a foreign country to seek political asylum. The dancers in "Center Stage" are all boobless, anorexic chain smokers. It's not exactly a pretty sight.

But boy can they dance and boy do they do it a lot. Dancing IS the plot in this film. There's hardly any dialogue or any story and when anything begins to drag, somebody breaks out in a dance number. Oh, okay, it's sort of about Jody Sawyer (Amanda Schull) finding herself and her place in the dancing world. She's admitted to the prestigious American Ballet Academy, but soon discovers that her form isn't quite up to par, which makes you wonder why they admitted her in the first place.

She rooms with the painfully thin and miserable Maureen (Susan May Pratt), who has a body that looks like it was rolled out of a morgue freezer. Then there's Eva (Zoe Saldana), who's the edgy character. She can dance, but she has a bad attitude. Aside from the dancing, these characters maneuver predictably toward the inevitable clich├ęs involving satisfaction, self-discovery, true love, and the big dance competition that makes everything right with the world.

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