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...I didn't "become" a lesbian.
To be clear:
* I'm not gay because I haven't found a 'real man.'
* I'm not gay because a man hasn't satisfied me in bed.
* I'm not gay because I hate men or want to overturn 'the patriarchal order.'
It's quite simple really:
Masculinity doesn't attract me. It never has. I am attracted to girls and femininity. I always have been.
When I was younger, I used to hang up posters of women in my room instead of men. I developed crushes on actresses, not actors. Since no one likes to believe they are abnormal or weird, I didn't think this meant anything significant until I was about 17 and I fell in love with my best friend. I could only try to rationalize these feelings for so long before I realized I was gay. That's what being gay means, ya dumb shits: I like girls. It has very little to do with sex or "eating pussy" well. I liked girls well before I even *thought* of having sex with one.
So here's the situation: I am attracted to females and not males. I could either ignore these feelings, lie to myself, and be with a man so that everyone *else* can be happy OR I can accept these feelings and be with a girl so that *I* will be happy. I chose the latter.
I told my parents I was gay when I was 17. (I'm 24 now.) Keep in mind: I had never had sex with ANYONE, male or female. Homosexuality is *connected* to sex but it's not *entirely* about sex. It is who you are as a person - what you find attractive and who you fall in love with. Anyway, back to my parents: They weren't too happy, but they also weren't too surprised. (After all, when you hang up pictures of girls and talk about your best friends like you're in love with them....it's pretty damn obvious you have homosexual tendencies.)
To repeat: I did not "become" gay because a man screwed me over or couldn't satisfy me in bed or whatever inane reason you can conjure up. (Trust me - a lot more females have screwed me over than males and that didn't make me "become straight.") A lot of my best friends are guys and I love them dearly. However, I just can't see guys in "that way." That's what being gay is. This doesn't seem all that difficult to me, but (for some reason) people are forever having trouble with the concept. I suppose they can't understand it because they've always liked the OPPOSITE sex (like most people do). Hence, they think if anyone likes the same sex, it must be a "choice" or for this reason or that reason. They are assuming that everyone starts off exactly like them (liking the opposite sex). It's not true. This is what is natural to me. This is the way it's always been for me. And whatever idiotic reasons you can think up for the way I am, there will still be a great difference between reality and what *you* think.
So, think what you will.
Trust me - you're not saying anything I haven't heard 8 million times before.
Think what you will.
TCP
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