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SUMMARY / COMMENTARY:
Charlie's Angels (PG-13) -- Angels they were not. And yes, another R-13.
Charlie's Angels is a revival of the old TV series with the same name but without the same modesty using some great imagery technology in the style of The Matrix. Lots of sexual matters and imagery. Lots.
Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore and Lucy Liu waste their vast talents on this no-brainer collection of eye candy for teens. Individually these three stars are outstanding enough, but what a spectacular work of art their combined talents could have made. But, n-o-o-o. The trailers were as good as the movie, even the one where Bill Murry strokes his hair emulating a babe (which was not in the cut I saw). Angels they were not. And yes, Charlie's Angels is another R-13.
Three detectives, Natalie (Diaz), Dylan (Barrymore) and Alex (Liu) of the Charles Townsend Detective Agency battle the evil minds of sneaky bad guys to corrupt ultra-scientific software that could trace anyone anywhere by the sound of their voice -- a horrible threat to privacy (as if there were such a thing anymore). Working for a disembodied voice, Charlie (John Forsythe), the trio operate under the coordination of Bosley (Bill Murray). Charlie's Angels is the explosive grandeur of The World Is Not Enough: 007, the floating combat and slo-motion imagery of The Matrix, and the wardrobe of Coyote Ugly all rolled into one. I had heard that one of the three actresses had to be stitched into her outfit but I cannot back it up with fact.
The fighting sequences were long and sometimes quite graphic [Prov. 3:31]. I've been on the do Jo (and street) a number of times and can tell you that the human body cannot take kicks to the head and chest such as those portrayed in this movie and still get up and fight some more. Another misleading of the entertainment industry -- the 'fight, get up' syndrome. Fights more happen like the time Kareem Abdul kareemed one of his basketball opponents -- one square contact and you are down for a while. Sadly, many of you dads know exactly what I am talking about, right? I suppose the 'fight, get up' syndrome started back in the old B&W western flicks where two cowboys, each with a bullet in the shoulder and sometimes an arrow in the back, would punch each other for what seemed to be an hour then get up and walk with the sherrif to the jail. In one scene in Charlie's Angels a bad guy tries to kill Dylan with gunfire and Dylan dodges the slug. No one can see a bullet coming and dodge it. There is no toying with firearms, folks. None! Firearms are unforgiving and eager to do damage. They are vital tools to this free nation and our safe homes, but they are not toys.
Much toilet humor [Eph. 5:4] is excused of its accountability to wholesomeness by being uttered by a "dizzy blonde" who was supposedly unaware of what she was saying. Two boys, barely pubescent, were shown the female form without the modesty of clothing [Luke 17:2]. Nearly bare breasts seemed to be the "new fad" if not tools to get what was wanted [Prov. 1:10]. Mimicry of oral sex, partial nudity plus flash full nudity, fleshy dancing, and posterior patting between females were but a few of the instances of inappropriate viewing [Eph. 5:3].
And, yes, this was a violent movie: long fight sequences, some quite graphic; reckless driving causing massive property damage; murder and attempted murders; firearm threats; and deaths by explosion/fire.
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1 Cor. 15:33 (KJV) Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. (NIV) Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character. Prov. 3:31 Do not envy a violent man or choose any of his ways, Eph. 5:4 Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. Luke 17:2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. Prov. 1:10 My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not. Eph. 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
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As always, it is best to refer to the Findings/Scoring section -- the heart of the CAP analysis model -- for the most complete assessment possible of this movie.
FINDINGS / SCORING:
NOTE: Multiple occurrences of each item described below may be likely, definitely when plural.
Wanton Violence/Crime (W): sky diving perils abductions pretense of suicide episodes of reckless driving causing massive property damage and reckless endangerment long sequences of fighting, some graphic vehicular dare driving stage murder attempted murder by automatic gunfire attempted murders by blade attempted murder by choking attempted murders by explosion threats with firearms death by explosion
Impudence/Hate (I)(1): 11 uses of the three/four letter word vocabulary vulgar gesture
Sex/Homosexuality (S): male and female going into airplane restroom together with excitement revealing swimwear cohabitation masked nudity vulgar dancing sexual comments, innuendo, talk adult in underwear dressing to maximize female form or skin exposure partial nudity flash full nudity gamming excessive breast exposure vulgar tease inappropriate touch - female to female camera angle to force viewer on private parts suggestive eye movement fleshy dancing nudity by implication (bare female backs) attempts at seduction
Drugs/Alcohol (D): booze smoking drinking drunkenness
Offense to God (O)(2): one use of God's name in vain with the four letter expletive and 8 without
Murder/Suicide (M)(3): murder by blade
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