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-You are not who you really think you are.
-You can get shot in the arm or leg and still be able to drive a Porsch, fire your own gun, or run from the enemy with no problems or limps. Oh yeah, and it will only make you say, "uhh"
-It is possible to out run a automatic weapon on foot when the shooter is the villain....however, if you are the good guy, every shell you spit is guaranteed to hit somebody. Also, in a gun fight, bullets will only hit the person they are intended for, unless you are the villain.
-An average Joe-Schmo can fall 300 feet from an airplane into the water and not break a limb or his neck.
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. And he always has a still on duty cop risking his job to supply needed information, and solving the case always gets him his job back.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization
-Alien space crafts are similar to our own airplanes, only they don't run out of fuel.
-SUFFICATION from smog is not a factor when it comes to entire cities being bombed.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-If you are wearing a Bullet Proof Vest, you are completely safe.....villains NEVER think to shoot you in the head.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage, and don't worry, the will regain consciousness in enough time to save the day.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-You can safely jump from a vehicle moving 100 mph and roll away with nothing but a couple scratches. And don't worry, if you are on the express way, traffic magically stops so you won't get ran over by on-coming vehicles that seem to have prohibited you from reaching the villain in the first place.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. Typically, one who does everything by the book, and one who can't even read.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. If they're villains, they will probably speak with an English accent.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. Also, keep a paper clip handy because you never know when you are gonna need one to pick the lock of a handcuff.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child. But it'll give him a slammin hair do.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on. And don't worry, your eight year old son will turn from cartoons to the NEWS just in time for you to catch your "It's-Gonna-Effect-My-Life" story.
-One can come face to face with a blazing fire and leave with not one burn.
-Contrary to popular belief, closets and under the beds are VERY good hiding places.
-You will NEVER out run a power walker with a chainsaw. He knows your every move and will catch up to you, even though you are in a forest.
-If you can't figure out the plot right away, don't worry, the villain will always tell the tied-up good guy the entire plot, thus giving the good guy time to create and excute a plan that will kill the villain, thus saving the day, once again.
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